JULY 2, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: First Interstate Bancorp Anticipates $80 Million Loss. Impact: The bank's anticipated loss led to a wave of panic among investors, causing a nationwide financial crisis that, years later, resulted in a governmental obsession with 'economic indicators'—which ironically still remain as vague as your uncle's excuses for avoiding family gatherings.. Fact: If only they had invested in avocado toast instead of loans, they might have been better off. #MillennialWisdom.
• Headline: Discovering Hidden Biodiversity in Forest Soils. Impact: The discovery of these forest species sparked an environmental revolution, leading to the creation of niche eco-tourism. Ironically, the more people came to see the species, the more they trampled on the very soil they were trying to save, proving that humans are the ultimate paradox.. Fact: While we're busy saving the environment, let's not forget that every time you enjoy a picnic, a rare insect somewhere is rolling its eyes at your sandwich choices..
• Headline: BUSINESS PEOPLE; Chairman and Chief Resigns His Positions at Quiksilver. Impact: The resignation of Quiksilver's chief sparked a chain reaction in the fashion industry, leading to a trend of CEOs who thought they could surf the wave of change without getting wiped out by the tide of economic reality.. Fact: Fun fact: Quiksilver's success hinges on the idea that wearing board shorts makes you better at surfing. Spoiler alert: It doesn't..