MAY 26, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rabid Bats Spark Health Concerns. Impact: If only those bats had known their rabies would lead to a nationwide bat scare, we might have ended up with a new superhero: Batman, but like, the rabid version.. Fact: Did you know bats are nature's pest control? But apparently, they forgot to read the memo about keeping their rabies to themselves..
• Headline: Engaging Audiences Through Art Interaction. Impact: This headline sparked an international debate on whether art needs an audience, leading to an underground movement where artists only perform in front of their houseplants.. Fact: Did you know that the Louvre has more visitors in a day than some small countries? But hey, art is subjective, right?.
• Headline: Historic Change at Baltusrol Golf Club. Impact: The Baltusrol Golf Club deciding to accept women and minorities led to a chain reaction of similar decisions, ultimately resulting in golf becoming a popular sport among the masses instead of just rich old men.. Fact: Did you know that golf was once prohibited for women? Talk about a swing and a miss!.
• Headline: MUSIC; Writing for the Choir He Sang In. Impact: Dalglish's 'Hymnody of Earth' eventually inspired a new genre of music that made it socially unacceptable to sing anything without a choir backing you up.. Fact: Did you know that boy sopranos have a shelf life? Kind of like milk, only more melodious..
• Headline: Selling Picture Frames Instead of Cookies. Impact: This innovative fundraising idea led to a worldwide trend of students selling increasingly bizarre items, like picture frames made from recycled homework.. Fact: Did you know that students have raised money for camping trips since the dawn of time? It’s practically a rite of passage!.
• Headline: DINING OUT; French Fare That Is Better Than Ever. Impact: Gomez's French restaurant success story was the catalyst for countless culinary school applications, leading to a nationwide shortage of aspiring chefs who just want to recreate 'Ratatouille.'. Fact: Did you know that French cuisine is so revered that even the bread gets its own fancy title? It's called 'baguette'—no wonder they can charge so much!.
• Headline: Your Own Account; Finding Money to Start a Business. Impact: The struggle for funding sparked a new era in entrepreneurship, where the phrase 'I need a loan' became the new 'I need a nap.'. Fact: Did you know that the average cupcake shop can take years to turn a profit? But hey, who doesn’t love a good frosting failure story?.
• Headline: For Brothers, Poetry Is in Their Genes. Impact: The poetic connection between Ginsberg and Brooks led to an annual family poetry slam, which was eventually deemed too awkward to continue after the third year.. Fact: Did you know that poetry is often just a fancy way of saying, 'I have feelings, and I need you to know about them?'.
• Headline: Thousands of Buildings Lack Fire Sprinklers. Impact: The lack of fire sprinklers led to the invention of a new fire safety app that, ironically, doesn't work unless you already have sprinklers installed.. Fact: Did you know that fire sprinklers reduce the risk of dying in a fire by about 82%? So, you know, it's a good idea to have them… just saying..
• Headline: World Comes Calling in Fairfield County. Impact: This event led to global cultural exchanges, resulting in the spreading of awkward small talk and exotic food tastings at dinner parties everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that inviting foreign dignitaries over can lead to really awkward silences? Maybe that's why we stick to potlucks..