MARCH 10, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: John J. Rossi's Transformative Discovery. Impact: If John J. Rossi hadn't picked up that packing paper, we might be living in a world where Italian glassware is protected by bubble wrap and cling film. Imagine the horror: a universe devoid of elegant packaging! The very fabric of gift-giving would be irrevocably changed.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'sow's ear into a silk purse' is often misused? It actually refers to how much effort it takes to make something beautiful out of something ugly. Spoiler: It’s usually a lot!.
• Headline: Exploring Family Through Art. Impact: This art exhibit about 'The Family' has likely led to an explosion of awkward family reunions where everyone pretends to be interested in Aunt Gertrude's watercolor of her cat. And you thought gatherings were filled with tension before!. Fact: Fun fact: The average family dinner is 40% awkward silence, 30% eye-rolling, and 30% pretending to care about each other's lives. Sounds like a masterpiece in the making!.
• Headline: Campaign in Manhasset Tries to Spare Club From Developer. Impact: This petition to save a country club has likely created a butterfly effect where homeowners now think they can save anything—next, they'll be trying to save their favorite local taco truck from gentrification.. Fact: Did you know that petitions often have a success rate lower than that of a diet during the holidays? Good luck saving that country club!.
• Headline: DINING OUT; Colonial Charm in Harrison, Inside and Out. Impact: This restaurant's charm may lead to a sudden spike in local tourism, causing residents to begrudgingly admit that their town isn't as boring as they claimed. The horror!. Fact: Did you know that the ambiance of a restaurant can be so good it distracts you from the fact that the food tastes like cardboard? Welcome to dining out!.
• Headline: Looking for Tom Brokejaw or Cyrano de Burgerjoint? Try Bridgeport. Impact: The brainstorming session for topical comedy could lead to a revival of 90s humor, causing people everywhere to cringe at the thought of 'dad jokes' becoming cool again. Thanks, Bridgeport!. Fact: Did you know that the best comedy comes from the most awkward situations? So, if you ever trip and fall in public, congratulations—you may have just inspired the next big comedy hit!.
• Headline: Around the Garden. Impact: The insect explosion on house plants could very well lead to a new breed of entomologists who specialize in 'pest diplomacy'—negotiating peace treaties between humans and creepy crawlies.. Fact: Did you know that houseplants can survive almost anything... except neglect? They really know how to hold a grudge!.
• Headline: DINING OUT; An Ambitious New Breed of Cantonese. Impact: The transformation of a truck stop into a trendy Cantonese spot may spark a nationwide trend of 'gourmet truck stop cuisine,' leading to a culinary revolution—or a lot of confused foodies.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'truck stop' used to mean 'the last place where you should expect good food'? Looks like we’re redefining low expectations!.