JANUARY 14, 1991

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discover Cross-Country Skiing in Jackson. Impact: This little ski town became the birthplace of the hipster movement. After everyone started cross-country skiing, they decided to grow their own organic kale and wear scarves all year round. Now, every winter, hipsters take to the slopes, but only on wooden skis they made themselves.. Fact: Did you know that if you cross-country ski at a speed of 5 mph, you can burn more calories than sitting on the couch and scrolling through social media? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Asian-Americans' Consumer Preferences Explored. Impact: This survey ignited a multi-billion dollar industry of niche marketing, leading to the rise of completely unnecessary flavors of everything and food fusion that should never have happened. Thanks to this, we now have sushi burritos and bacon-flavored bubble tea.. Fact: Fun fact: Surveys about Asian-American preferences led to the realization that yes, they do like to eat, just like every other human being. Groundbreaking stuff!.
• Headline: Ad Agencies Celebrate Each Other. Impact: This back-patting session spiraled into a full-blown epidemic of sycophancy in the advertising world, creating an environment where every ad agency now thinks they deserve a participation trophy. The result? Even more mediocre ads about nothing.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'I wish I'd done that' is commonly used in advertising circles, usually right before they pitch the next awful idea that they'll be too proud to admit is terrible?.
• Headline: Miscellany. Impact: Edelman’s acquisition and Holyfield’s endorsement deal kicked off the trend of celebrity spokespersons, leading to the unfortunate reality that your favorite snack might now be promoted by someone who can barely pronounce the brand name.. Fact: Coca-Cola signing Evander Holyfield was the moment when sports endorsements took a turn—after that, they figured, why not get a boxing champion to sell soda? Because nothing says 'refreshing' like a punch in the face!.
• Headline: Going to School In the Boxing Ring. Impact: Westchester Community College’s boxing class not only produced future champions but also gave rise to a generation of students who thought throwing punches was an acceptable form of conflict resolution. Now, every debate class comes with a referee.. Fact: In a surprising twist, many students reported that after taking the boxing course, they were much more prepared for life—especially when it came to avoiding confrontations in the cafeteria..
• Headline: THE MEDIA BUSINESS: ADVERTISING -- ADDENDA; Accounts. Impact: These account changes paved the way for a never-ending cycle of ad campaigns featuring characters that no one cares about, all because someone thought that if you throw enough money at a problem, it will magically become interesting.. Fact: Fun fact: The real reason brands throw millions into advertising is that they believe if they repeat something enough times, it will become true—kind of like how some people think they can fly if they jump off tall buildings!.