DECEMBER 9, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: Abolishing Suffolk Legislature Voter Referendum. Impact: If the Suffolk Legislature is abolished, it could lead to a new trend where counties across the nation start swapping out their governance structures for something more trendy—like a council of cats or a committee of wise old trees. Who needs democracy when you have charismatic felines?. Fact: Did you know that Suffolk County was once home to the infamous 'Suffolk Shuffle'? Sadly, it was just a dance nobody liked..
• Headline: Art Connecting TB and AIDS Awareness. Impact: Linda Troeller’s artistic fusion of TB and AIDS might just inspire future artists to tackle less relatable subjects, like the existential crisis of a sandwich left unattended in a fridge. Art could take a sharp turn towards the absurd!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing less fashionable than art and information together is wearing socks with sandals? But hey, at least it’s a conversation starter!.
• Headline: Last Two Drive-Ins Are Facing 'The End'. Impact: The closure of drive-ins could inadvertently lead to a renaissance of backyard movie nights, complete with awkward awkwardness and way too much popcorn. Just wait until someone tries to recreate 'Grease' in their garage!. Fact: Did you know that 'drive-in' originally referred to a fast food restaurant? Now it's just a sad reminder that sometimes, we can't even get fast food right!.
• Headline: Toxic-Waste Disposal Questioned. Impact: The hazardous waste disposal controversy could lead to a new underground movement where people start treating toxic waste like art, creating avant-garde pieces that no one wants to touch. It’s the future: toxic chic!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'toxic waste' was originally coined by a disgruntled artist who couldn’t find a gallery willing to show their work?.
• Headline: High School Students Learn From 3-Year-Olds. Impact: This unusual classroom setup could lead to a groundbreaking education model where high school students are paired with toddlers, resulting in epic battles over snack time and nap schedules instead of calculus.. Fact: Did you know that toddlers have been scientifically proven to be better negotiators than most politicians? Just try saying no to a cookie!.
• Headline: DANCE; At Ballet, 'I Liked When They Jumped'. Impact: The dance commentary could lead to a viral trend where children take over the ballet world, demanding performances that include more jumping and fewer tutus. Ballet might never be the same!. Fact: Did you know that children are natural critics? Just ask any parent who's attempted to explain the concept of 'artistic expression' to a four-year-old!.