NOVEMBER 16, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Deception of a Notorious Mass Murderer. Impact: This headline led to a significant increase in the public's obsession with the idea of 'killer eyes'. Fast forward to today, and we have countless true crime shows making billions off the concept that someone’s stare can foreshadow murder. Thanks a lot, psychiatrist!. Fact: Did you know that many experts say you can tell a mad killer by their social media presence? Just kidding, but it would certainly make for a more entertaining documentary!.
• Headline: Rocky’s Return to South Philadelphia. Impact: Rocky’s return to South Philly not only revived his character but also led to a resurgence in boxing movies, inspiring a generation of wannabe fighters who thought they could beat the odds by just training montages and motivational speeches.. Fact: Did you know that the real-life Rocky Balboa was actually a pet goldfish? Just kidding, but wouldn't that be a plot twist?.
• Headline: Depardieu as the Blustery Yet Wistful Cyrano de Bergerac. Impact: This performance set the stage for future actors to believe they could redefine classic characters, leading to a long line of bizarre adaptations of literary works that left audiences wondering, 'What were they thinking?'. Fact: Did you know that Depardieu once considered playing Cyrano while also auditioning for a role as a talking cabbage? True versatility!.
• Headline: New York's Changing Neighborhoods; An Expanding Chinatown Is Now Getting Condos. Impact: This gentrification event sparked a nationwide trend of turning historically rich neighborhoods into overpriced condo complexes, forever altering the cultural landscapes of cities, as well as the cost of takeout.. Fact: Did you know that in 2023, you can buy a condo in Chinatown for the price of a small planet? Just kidding, but it’s close!.
• Headline: A Victory for Genetic Fingerprinting. Impact: This ruling revolutionized criminal justice, making DNA evidence a staple in trials. Without it, we might still be relying on unreliable eyewitnesses, leading to a spike in 'I swear I saw him!' defense arguments.. Fact: Did you know that the first use of DNA in a criminal trial was about as successful as your last family reunion? Awkward and full of surprises!.
• Headline: BUSINESS PEOPLE; Former Apple Executive Is Named Chief at Covia. Impact: This appointment led to a cascade of tech executives jumping ship to less glamorous roles, proving that once you’ve worked at a tech giant, you can pretty much do anything, including running a travel reservation system.. Fact: Did you know that becoming a CEO of a travel company after Apple is akin to going from rock star to managing a karaoke bar? The glory, but with fewer groupies!.