OCTOBER 20, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Love and Class in 'White Palace'. Impact: If only that older waitress had chosen a career in tech instead, we might have avoided several decades of class struggles and a shortage of avocado toast in hipster cafes. Thanks, love!. Fact: The real class struggle is trying to explain your film choices to your friends without sounding pretentious..
• Headline: Zombies Return: A Witty Remake. Impact: The revival of zombies in pop culture led to a surge in popularity for bad horror films, inadvertently inspiring a generation of filmmakers to think they can get away with anything. Spoiler alert: they can't.. Fact: Zombies are a metaphor for society's slow decline, or maybe just a commentary on how we all feel after a long Monday..
• Headline: Tom Selleck's Australian Adventure: Quigley Down Under. Impact: Tom Selleck's portrayal of a sharpshooter in Australia likely inspired countless wannabe cowboys to swap their cowboy boots for flip-flops and head to the beach instead. Thanks, Hollywood!. Fact: In Australia, 'Quigley Down Under' is considered a documentary about how not to pack for a trip..
• Headline: Review/Film; A Tokyo of the Future In Vibrant Animation. Impact: This film paved the way for a generation of teenagers to believe that battling in a post-apocalyptic Tokyo is a viable career path. Spoiler: it’s not.. Fact: The real tragedy of post-apocalyptic films is how they always overlook the importance of Wi-Fi..
• Headline: Second Homes; Vacation Communities Rise in Catskills. Impact: The rise of second homes in the Catskills may have inadvertently triggered a real estate bubble that would make even Monopoly players cringe. Who knew a weekend getaway could mean financial ruin?. Fact: The Catskills are just a fancy way of saying 'where dreams go to die when you realize you can’t afford the mortgage.'.
• Headline: LAW; What's in a Familiar Name Could Well Be a Judgeship. Impact: This revelation about voters just picking familiar names has likely led to an increase in candidates named 'Bob' and 'Jane,' while the rest of us are left wondering if a name change could help us with our own careers.. Fact: In a shocking twist, no one actually votes for the candidate with the best policies; it’s all about the name that sounds like someone they might have known in elementary school..