JULY 1, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tribute to Sousa at Stockton College. Impact: Keith Brion’s tribute to Sousa led to an unexpected revival of military band music, resulting in the bizarre phenomenon of people dressing as historical figures for concerts. Next thing you know, Beethoven will be getting a hip-hop remix. Fact: Fun fact: Sousa was not just a composer; he was also a staunch advocate for the American march. So, if you hear a marching band, just know they might be fighting for your right to party.
• Headline: Savoring the Flavors of Thai Cuisine. Impact: The rise of Thai cuisine sparked a culinary revolution, leading to the world being flooded with fusion dishes. Somewhere, a taco is now trying desperately to be a pad thai. Fact: Did you know that 'Thai food' was just a fancy way of saying 'let's confuse your taste buds' before it became mainstream? Now it’s just a way to pretend we know the difference between lemongrass and cilantro.
• Headline: Fiddlers Gathering for 15th Celebration. Impact: The Fiddling Celebration not only kept the spirit of folk music alive but also inadvertently created a new generation of hipsters that think wearing suspenders makes them better musicians. Fact: Did you know that fiddlers can make a room full of people forget their troubles? Or, at least, make them feel like their troubles are slightly more melodious?.
• Headline: Your Own Account; Loosening the 401 (k) Rules. Impact: Loosening 401(k) rules led to a generation of workers who think they can fund their retirement through online shopping. Spoiler: They can’t. Fact: Did you know that the IRS has a great sense of humor? Just kidding, it doesn't. But one can dream of a day when tax regulations are as easy as ordering a pizza.
• Headline: LONG ISLAND OPINION; They're Redesigning My Life. Impact: This personal apartment quest contributed to the ever-growing trend of millennials and Gen Zers living in shoebox-sized studios, leading to a national crisis of space-saving furniture that is more complicated than assembling IKEA. Fact: Did you know that moving into a new apartment is basically a rite of passage? It’s also the moment when you realize your collection of random mugs is a bigger commitment than any relationship.
• Headline: Getting A Chance At Camp. Impact: The plight of homeless children sparked a flurry of charitable initiatives, inadvertently leading to a boom in summer camps that charge exorbitant fees to teach kids how to have fun. Because who needs free fun when you can pay for it?. Fact: Did you know that summer camp is just a fancy way of saying 'let's pay someone to entertain our kids while we binge-watch our favorite shows'?.
• Headline: IN THE NATURAL STATE. Impact: The exploration of wildlife and natural spaces led to a resurgence in conservation efforts that, ironically, made humans feel guilty about their own existence. Thanks, nature!. Fact: Did you know that nature documentaries are basically the world's most expensive way to feel inadequate about your own life choices? Just look at those majestic eagles.
• Headline: Syphilis Screening To Expand In County. Impact: Expanding syphilis screening turned into a public health movement that had people actually talking about STDs in a more open manner. Next up? A reality show titled ‘Dating with Disease’!. Fact: Did you know that syphilis is like that annoying party guest who keeps coming back? You think you’ve dealt with it, and then surprise! It’s back for another round.
• Headline: State System Of Hospital Rates Drawing Fire. Impact: The fallout from the hospital rate-setting system's failure led to a renewed call for healthcare reform, resulting in a series of political debates that eventually put most viewers to sleep. You’re welcome, C-SPAN!. Fact: Did you know that healthcare systems are like diets? Everyone has a plan, but no one really sticks to it. Good luck navigating that maze of insurance forms!.