MARCH 4, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: Lori Carson: Rising Delicate Pop Star. Impact: Lori Carson's rise in the music scene caused an unprecedented surge in acoustic guitar sales, leading to an overabundance of hipsters in coffee shops, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the 'hands-free latte.'. Fact: Did you know Massapequa is the town where you can hear more acoustic covers than actual songs? It's practically a musical Bermuda Triangle..
• Headline: Urban Resilient Trees for Modern Landscapes. Impact: The decision to plant stress-resistant trees led to the creation of a highly secretive society of trees that now plot to take back urban landscapes, claiming their rightful place in the hierarchy of green life.. Fact: Did you know that trees can communicate with each other through their roots? Perhaps they're gossiping about how humans can't keep their gardening skills straight..
• Headline: Crows and Vultures Over Hunterdon County. Impact: Crows banding together in Hunterdon County sparked a nationwide movement for avian solidarity, eventually leading to the formation of the 'Crows Against Apathy' organization, which still meets weekly to discuss their grievances with humans.. Fact: Did you know that crows can hold grudges? So, if you’re planning a picnic, maybe leave the sandwich crumbs at home unless you want some very angry feathered friends..
• Headline: ART; A Chance to Reassess Works Of a Disquieting Expressionist. Impact: Egon Schiele's untimely death during the influenza epidemic not only left a gap in the art world but also triggered a series of existential crises among artists, resulting in an entire generation of brooding painters who just couldn't find their muse.. Fact: Egon Schiele's art was so disquieting it could make a mannequin feel uncomfortable. Just imagine his paintings staring at you from the wall; nightmares galore!.
• Headline: GARDENING; Trees That Stand Up to Modern Stresses. Impact: The decline of Catholic schools led to an unexpected surge in the popularity of homeschooling, with parents suddenly transforming into teachers and trying to figure out the difference between algebra and ancient history.. Fact: Did you know that homeschooling parents often become their own worst critics? It’s like grading an essay when you’re the only one in the classroom—talk about pressure!.
• Headline: Bridgeport 'Drug Czar' Sees Long Fight Ahead. Impact: The Chuckling Oyster's move to a fancier building unleashed a wave of upscale dining trends, leading to a bizarre culinary phenomenon where food is served on slate tiles and costs as much as a small car.. Fact: Did you know that restaurants can now charge extra for the ambiance? Apparently, the sound of waves crashing is the new 'scent of money.'.
• Headline: DINING OUT; Fine View and Emphasis on Seafood. Impact: The stunning imagery of Mont Blanc inspired a wave of Instagram influencers who now believe that taking a picture with a glacier is a valid career path. Thanks, glaciers!. Fact: Did you know that glaciers are basically nature's frozen art installations? Too bad they don't have Instagram accounts to show off their best angles..