FEBRUARY 3, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bette Midler Shines in 'Stella'. Impact: Bette Midler's performance sparked a sudden surge in mom-themed films, leading to a future where every character had to have a tragic backstory involving their mother. Thanks, Bette!. Fact: Did you know that Bette Midler's emotional range is so vast, she could probably make a rock cry? Watch out for her in a future documentary about crying objects!.
• Headline: Exploring 'Cinema Paradiso': A Cinematic Journey. Impact: This film inspired a generation of filmmakers to create meta-narratives. By the 2020s, the world was inundated with movies about people making movies about people making movies. It’s the circle of cinematic life.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Cinema Paradiso' is the Italian way of saying, 'Welcome to your therapist, where you’ll reminisce about your childhood while crying into a bucket of popcorn.'.
• Headline: Flashback: Generational Clash on Screen. Impact: This film set off a chain reaction of debates between generations, leading to family dinners being more explosive than a Fourth of July fireworks show. Thanks to this flick, Thanksgiving is now a minefield.. Fact: Did you know that 'Flashback' is the unofficial title of every family gathering in America? It's a real thrill ride—minus the fun..
• Headline: Review/Film; Of a Platoon Lost in a Vietnamese Jungle. Impact: This film's cliches contributed to the public's perception of Vietnam films, resulting in countless more 'lost in the jungle' films that ultimately confused everyone about geography. Spoiler alert: not all jungles are in Vietnam!. Fact: Tragically, this film proves that you can have every cliche imaginable and still not come close to the real horrors faced by soldiers. Hollywood, you had one job!.
• Headline: LAW; Constitution, Anyone? A New Cottage Industry. Impact: This sparked an international rush on constitutional drafting, leading to a future where every government in the world is just a poorly worded contract. Who knew constitutions could be a DIY project?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Constitution, anyone?' was later used by people trying to sell lemonade on street corners? Just another American entrepreneurial spirit!.
• Headline: LAW; A California Innovation: Dial-a-Lawyer. Impact: This innovation allowed legal advice to be just a phone call away, leading to an explosion of unsolicited legal opinions and a booming market for 'What does this text mean?' consultations. Welcome to the age of legal confusion!. Fact: It's said that Dial-a-Lawyer led to the creation of Dial-a-Therapist, Dial-a-Mechanic, and eventually, Dial-a-Friend, because who doesn’t need advice from someone they just met?.
• Headline: Review/Film; Jessica Lange As a Widow Waking Up To Problems. Impact: Jessica Lange's portrayal of a widow became a blueprint for future widow roles, leading to a rise in films where widows are suddenly experts in everything from law to advanced robotics. Spoiler alert: it’s not realistic.. Fact: Did you know that Jessica Lange's magnetism could power a small city? Future generations will be studying her gravitational pull on screen!.
• Headline: Review/Film; Case of a Haunted Cop With a Second-Hand Heart. Impact: This gem of a film led to an overwhelming trend in buddy cop films featuring supernatural elements, creating a future where police departments are staffed with ghosts, zombies, and the occasional talking dog.. Fact: Fun fact: the heart transplant in this film was the first documented case of a character literally carrying emotional baggage. The future of therapy just got a lot weirder!.