JANUARY 12, 1990

Full News Archive

• Headline: East Germany's Security Force Controversy. Impact: This bold defiance paved the way for an unforeseen surge in rebellious hairstyles across East Berlin. Little did they know, growing out their bangs would lead to the eventual overthrow of the government—one bad haircut at a time.. Fact: If you think ignoring threats is a new phenomenon, just wait until you see political debates in the 21st century!.
• Headline: Exploring 'Internal Affairs' Police Drama. Impact: The portrayal of corrupt cops in this film sparked a nationwide trend of citizens dressing like detectives, leading to an increase in amateur sleuthing and an embarrassing number of backyard stakeouts.. Fact: Did you know that the film industry has a unique way of making 'evil cops' look cool? It's called 'bad writing'..
• Headline: Selling Luxury Land Using Design Concepts. Impact: This strategy of selling land with shiny blueprints led to a booming industry of disappointed buyers who realized their dream homes were actually just artistic interpretations of a tree and a rock.. Fact: Pro tip: If the land you're buying comes with a 3D model of a house that looks suspiciously like a drawing from kindergarten, you might want to reconsider..
• Headline: BUSINESS PEOPLE; First Executive Corp. Appoints a President. Impact: The appointment of a new president led to a company-wide policy of 'presidential' pizza Fridays, inadvertently revolutionizing office culture and the way employees define productivity.. Fact: In the corporate world, the title of 'president' often just means you're in charge of ordering lunch for meetings. Hope Alan likes pizza!.
• Headline: LAW; National Rules for Child Witnesses?. Impact: The move towards protecting child witnesses inadvertently led to the creation of a booming market for child-friendly courtroom decor, including pastel colors and plush toys, because apparently, justice is more palatable with a teddy bear.. Fact: Child witnesses are so traumatized by courtroom experiences that some of them are now filing lawsuits against their own nightmares!.