DECEMBER 13, 1989

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ayer Executive Retirement Announcement. Impact: If F. Bradley Lynch hadn't retired, the world might have been deprived of M. Victoria Horstmann's genius, leading to a parallel timeline where advertising was still stuck in the dark ages of 1990s clip art.. Fact: Did you know that retirement is just code for 'I need a break from pretending to enjoy company potlucks'?.
• Headline: Angotti's Stock Buyback from Omnicom. Impact: Angotti's buyback could have triggered a stock market crash if their minority stake was secretly a vast treasure map leading to the world's most elusive chipotle sauce recipe.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'buyback' sounds fancy but is just corporate speak for 'we don't want to share our snacks anymore.'.
• Headline: Review/Film; 'Miss Daisy,' Chamber Piece From the Stage. Impact: If 'Miss Daisy' hadn't hit the screens, we might never have seen the glorious mixing of cultures, potentially leading to a world where only cats starred in films.. Fact: Fun fact: The original title was 'Miss Daisy's Driving School,' but they figured out that wasn't nearly as intriguing..
• Headline: THE MEDIA BUSINESS: Advertising; Campbell Promotions. Impact: With these promotions, Campbell-Mithun-Esty could have unknowingly set in motion a series of events that led to a reality TV show called 'The Real Executives of Advertising,' changing entertainment forever.. Fact: Did you know that executive vice presidents are just regular vice presidents who have been given a fancier title and a slightly nicer office?.
• Headline: THE MEDIA BUSINESS: Advertising; Avenue Editor Leaving To Develop Magazine. Impact: The loss of Avenue's editor might have accidentally paved the way for a new wave of unqualified influencers to take over, resulting in a society obsessed with avocado toast and bizarre fashion choices.. Fact: Fun fact: Glamour and 'respectability' in the magazine world often just means you have a decent Instagram filter..
• Headline: Review/Film; 'Blaze,' a Story of a Rogue and a Stripper. Impact: If 'Blaze' hadn’t been made, we might have been deprived of the cinematic experience of watching politicians and strippers share a screen, leading to an unthinkable void in political satire.. Fact: Fun fact: The film is basically a documentary on how to make questionable life choices—real life should come with a warning label!.