OCTOBER 29, 1989

Full News Archive

• Headline: Florida's Stone Crabs: A Culinary Delight. Impact: The rise of stone crabs led to a seafood arms race. Lobsters, feeling threatened, started taking self-defense classes. By 2023, they've formed a union demanding better wages and protection from crabby competitors.. Fact: Did you know that stone crabs can regenerate their claws? Talk about a comeback story! Lobsters are still working on their sequel..
• Headline: Asharoken's Battle Against Erosion. Impact: The erosion fight at Asharoken led to the invention of the world’s first sand-saving superhero, Captain Grain. Unfortunately, he got buried in his own efforts and is now a legend among beachgoers.. Fact: Did you know that beaches are actually disappearing at an alarming rate? It's almost like Mother Nature is on a strict minimalist kick..
• Headline: A SPECIAL GUIDE TO CRUISES WORLDWIDE; Cruise Ships Decked to the Nines. Impact: As luxury cruises became more popular, a secret society of mermaids emerged to reclaim the oceans. They now host underground aquatic parties that no human has ever attended but were definitely 'the place to be.'. Fact: Did you know that cruise ships can create their own weather patterns? So much for escaping it all; now you can enjoy a stormy sea while sipping a piña colada!.
• Headline: Real Estate Signs Unsettling Greenwich. Impact: The proliferation of 'For Sale' signs caused a local artist to create a series of modern art pieces, using them as canvases. Now, Greenwich is known as the 'Gallery of Gloom,' attracting hipsters from everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that the average person moves 11 times in their life? It’s like we’re all just playing an adult version of musical chairs but with mortgages..
• Headline: MUSIC; A Special Homecoming For Pianist at Princeton. Impact: Robert Taub's homecoming recital ignited a renaissance of piano music, leading to a global shortage of sheet music and an uptick in piano sales. In 2023, pianos are officially considered the must-have accessory.. Fact: Did you know that playing piano can actually improve your cognitive functions? So, if you can’t remember where you left your keys, just start practicing Beethoven!.
• Headline: Governors Change, but Not Their Favorite Tennis Partner. Impact: The tennis partnership between governors sparked a nationwide tennis craze, leading to the invention of a new sport: political tennis. Instead of rackets, they use debates, and the net is a metaphor for bipartisan cooperation.. Fact: Did you know that tennis was originally played with your hands? I guess they decided racquets were a better way to not get slapped by your opponent..
• Headline: Sailor Takes His Fun Seriously. Impact: The revitalization of the historic neighborhood became a blueprint for urban gentrification, leading to hipster coffee shops popping up everywhere. Now, every latte comes with a side of irony and overpriced avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that graffiti was once considered a form of vandalism? Now it's the hottest trend in real estate marketing. Just ask any hip neighborhood!.
• Headline: Historic Neighborhood Getting New Life.