JUNE 28, 1989

Full News Archive

• Headline: Time-Traveling Adventure Through Chaos. Impact: If those British boys hadn't time-traveled, who knows? Maybe 1980's New Zealand would have been overrun by plague-ridden sheep instead of becoming a tourist hotspot. Thanks for dodging that one, lads!. Fact: Fun fact: The 1348 plague was so terrible that it made even the most adventurous of time travelers reconsider their life choices. Talk about a plot twist!.
• Headline: Taxing Woman's Return: A Scathing Comedy. Impact: This film probably inspired a wave of tax inspectors to pick up comedy as a side gig. Can you imagine the stand-up routines at the IRS? 'So, what's the deal with tax deductions?'. Fact: Did you know that in Japan, tax inspectors are sometimes seen as the heroes of the financial world? Just kidding, they're still just as popular as a root canal..
• Headline: Revolutionizing Work with Answering Devices. Impact: This answering device could have sparked a revolution in the office world, leading to a dystopia where humans are replaced by robots who just want to have 'office culture' without the awkward small talk. Thanks, technology!. Fact: Did you know that before voicemail became a thing, people actually had to talk to each other? It's true; some even survived! Shocking, I know..
• Headline: Kings Take Ellison First in N.B.A. Draft; Clippers Pick Ferry. Impact: Pervis Ellison's draft pick could have created a butterfly effect that led to the Kings winning multiple championships, changing NBA history. Or, you know, just making more people watch basketball on TV.. Fact: Did you know that being the first pick in a draft doesn't guarantee success? Just ask any team that picked a player based on their amazing college highlights and ended up with a benchwarmer!.