APRIL 16, 1989

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Le Papillon in Morristown. Impact: The opening of Le Papillon led to a culinary arms race in Morristown. Suddenly, everyone thought they were a Michelin-star chef, leading to disastrous dinner parties and a national shortage of garlic.. Fact: Fun fact: The French actually invented the phrase 'Bon appétit' just to make you feel guilty about your microwave dinner..
• Headline: Collaborative Effort for Educational Improvement. Impact: This collaboration sparked a series of job fairs that ultimately led to the rise of 'professional line standers' as a legitimate career. You can thank this meeting for that awkward moment when you realize your 'job' is to wait in line for free samples at Costco.. Fact: Did you know that 'collaboration' is just a fancy word for 'let's sit in a room and hope someone else has a good idea?'.
• Headline: Seals Resurface Amidst Mystery and Mortality. Impact: The seals, once a vibrant part of the ecosystem, became a local conspiracy theory. People believed the seals were actually spies sent by the government to monitor beachgoers' sunscreen application techniques.. Fact: Seals can hold their breath for more than 30 minutes. Too bad the same can’t be said for your average beachgoer trying to hold back their existential dread..
• Headline: A Shelter From the Woes of Family. Impact: Project Return became a blueprint for future shelters, leading to an entire industry of reality TV shows about family crises and teenage angst. You're welcome, world!. Fact: It turns out that teenage girls can actually bond over shared trauma—who knew? It's like a support group, but with more eye-rolling..
• Headline: Tax Revolt Builds On L.I.. Impact: The tax revolt inspired a generation of 'free thinkers' who believed they could avoid paying taxes altogether. Spoiler alert: they couldn't, but they did master the art of complaining.. Fact: Did you know that 'tax revolt' is just a fancy term for 'we want to keep our money, but we also want all the public services?'.
• Headline: Health Is the Main Ingredient in New Cooking Classes. Impact: As more people started cooking healthier meals, the demand for kale skyrocketed, leading to a bizarre agricultural boom and making kale the new avocado. Farmers were thrilled; hipsters, less so.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more difficult than cooking healthy meals is convincing your friends that quinoa is actually delicious..
• Headline: Preservation Law Faces Court Test. Impact: The court case ignited a national movement to preserve historic properties, inadvertently leading to a new trend of people living in their parents' basements to avoid property taxes. Thanks, Landmark Preservation Law!. Fact: Did you know that the oldest homes often come with a history of bizarre ghost sightings? Not that you'd want to live there, but it does add character!.
• Headline: NEW JERSEY GUIDE. Impact: Mozart's Requiem performed in Newark led to a renaissance of classical music appreciation, which was swiftly followed by the rise of hipster classical remix albums. Because why not?. Fact: Fun fact: Mozart originally wrote 'Requiem' because he wanted to be the original 'rock star' of his time. Spoiler alert: It worked..
• Headline: Therapy Sessions Part of College Life. Impact: The normalization of therapy sessions on campus led to the rise of 'emotional support majors,' where students major in feelings and minor in procrastination. Degree in existential crises? Check!. Fact: Did you know that therapy was once considered taboo? Now it's just another thing to add to your college resume—right next to your avocado toast recipe..