APRIL 6, 1989

Full News Archive

• Headline: Small Growth Funds Surge in 1989. Impact: The modest gains of growth funds in the late '80s sparked a frenzy of investment strategies that eventually led to the dot-com bubble – proving once again that when you put your money in small companies, you might just watch it grow... or explode.. Fact: Fun fact: 'modest gains' is Wall Street's euphemism for 'well, at least it didn’t crash and burn.'.
• Headline: Gerber Appoints New COO. Impact: Alfred A. Piergallini's promotion sent shockwaves through the corporate world, inspiring countless other companies to create unnecessary executive positions – because who doesn't need a Chief Happiness Officer in a world full of deadlines?. Fact: If you think being president of a snack company is a piece of cake, just remember: Gerber's board meetings likely involve more baby food debates than you'd imagine..
• Headline: Moving a Cabinet Can Give It Achy Joints. Impact: The historical struggle of moving furniture without paved roads resulted in a surge of creativity in cabinet-making techniques, leading to the eventual birth of DIY home improvement shows – because who doesn’t love a good ‘how to avoid highway robbery’ tutorial?. Fact: Before paved roads, moving furniture was basically an Olympic sport. Now, we just complain about IKEA assembly instructions instead..