NOVEMBER 20, 1988

Full News Archive

• Headline: Democrats Face Judicial Appointment Challenges. Impact: The Democrats losing judgeships might have sparked a secret society of lawyers plotting to become the next Supreme Court justices. If only they knew how expensive that would be!. Fact: Fun fact: Most people don't realize that being a judge requires a law degree and a taste for robes. Who knew fashion could be so influential in the courtroom?.
• Headline: Rabbinical College Is Attracting Families. Impact: As families flock to the Rabbinical College, one can only wonder if this led to the creation of a new reality show: 'Keeping Up with the Chabad,' featuring beards, debates, and delicious challah.. Fact: Did you know that the average rabbi has to juggle spirituality, community leadership, and an impressive amount of paperwork? It's like a holy circus!.
• Headline: WEEK IN BUSINESS; An Export Surge Brings Few Cheers. Impact: An export surge that brings few cheers could lead to a bizarre time loop where economists are perpetually confused, giving rise to a cult of confused number-crunchers who marry their spreadsheets.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than a trade deficit is a trade deficit with your significant other? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope!.
• Headline: Banks Prepare for Aggressive Growth. Impact: Banks preparing for aggressive growth might inadvertently inspire an arms race among financial institutions, where the one with the flashiest ads and the most aggressive sales tactics wins the title of 'Super Bank.'. Fact: Did you know that banks often change their branding more than some people change their underwear? It's an identity crisis on a corporate level!.
• Headline: Troop 315: Boy Scouts of Merit. Impact: Boy Scout Troop 315's quest for merit badges could have inadvertently sparked a global movement of adult merit badges, leading to a world where grown-ups earn badges for surviving Monday morning meetings.. Fact: Did you know that merit badges are a great way to encourage kids? But let's be honest, the real merit badge should be for surviving middle school!.
• Headline: Plan for More Parking In Manhasset Subsides. Impact: The parking plan in Manhasset subsiding could lead to a decade-long feud over parking spaces, resulting in a civil war of sorts among local residents—who knew parking could be this dramatic?. Fact: Did you know that parking is often considered a modern-day treasure hunt? You might even find a rare parking spot if you're lucky enough!.
• Headline: Greenport Queried on Wells. Impact: Greenport querying about wells could have triggered the Great Well Wars of the 21st century, where towns competed for the title of 'Best Water'—think Game of Thrones, but with more hydration.. Fact: Did you know that digging wells can be quite the endeavor? It’s not as simple as just saying, 'Dig here!' and hoping for the best!.