OCTOBER 30, 1988

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mount Sinai High School Construction Vote. Impact: The decision to build a new high school inevitably led to a series of events where students started to believe they had a choice in their education. This rebellion against the system sparked a movement that eventually led to kids demanding Wi-Fi in classrooms, because who needs textbooks when you have Google?. Fact: Did you know that building a school can sometimes be more contentious than a reality TV show reunion? It's true!.
• Headline: Classics for Kids on Long Island. Impact: The establishment of a 'Classics for Kids' program led to a generation of children who could recite Shakespeare but couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. You know, priorities.. Fact: Fun fact: Kids nowadays can play video games for hours but can't sit through a 30-minute lecture. Classic!.
• Headline: Yonkers Government Reform Vote. Impact: The Yonkers Charter vote sparked a passionate debate that led to the invention of 'government bingo' where citizens marked off all the times politicians promised change but delivered nothing. Spoiler alert: it’s a full card every time.. Fact: Did you know that local government proposals often get more attention than celebrity breakups? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Farmers Seek Pesticide Alternatives. Impact: The search for pesticide alternatives led to the accidental creation of a new breed of superbugs that now hold a secret meeting every Tuesday to plot the downfall of the agricultural system. They are currently considering a takeover.. Fact: Did you know that pests are the ultimate survivors? They can outlast even the best-laid plans of farmers trying to thwart them!.
• Headline: BOARD TO WEIGH VETERANS MEASURE. Impact: The board's decision to grant a property-tax exemption for veterans means that in a few decades, the local economy could dramatically shift to accommodate all the veterans moving in, leading to a rise in 'Welcome Home' signs and BBQs on every block.. Fact: Did you know that veterans love property-tax exemptions almost as much as they love a good backyard grill? It's practically a rite of passage!.
• Headline: Court Ruling Challenges Gulotta on Budget. Impact: Gulotta's budget challenges resulted in an avalanche of paperwork that eventually caused the invention of the 'Budgetary Faux Pas' bingo card, leading to a new pastime for bored legislators.. Fact: Fun fact: Budget meetings are the only place where the term 'fun' is used ironically. Just saying!.
• Headline: A SPECIAL GUIDE TO CRUISES WORLDWIDE; FOR THE ADVENTUROUS, ANTARCTICA. Impact: Antarctica's tourism boom led to a wave of 'extreme adventurers' who now believe that sipping hot cocoa while looking at icebergs counts as an extreme sport. Because why not?. Fact: Did you know that Antarctica is essentially the world’s largest freezer? Just imagine the frozen pizza you could store there!.
• Headline: ART; Modern Romance, Via Computer. Impact: The merging of modern romance and computers resulted in a generation of couples who now break up via text message. True love has never been more digital!. Fact: Fun fact: The first computer-generated love letter was probably just a long string of code. Romance, am I right?.