NOVEMBER 1, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: Building Controversy in Nature Preserve. Impact: The construction in a nature preserve sparked an environmentalist movement, leading to the rise of eco-vigilantes who now patrol nature reserves with clipboards and 'Save the Forest' t-shirts. Who knew building houses could create a new breed of activists?. Fact: Did you know that building houses in a nature preserve is like inviting a raccoon to a potluck? Spoiler alert: it's not going to end well for the salad..
• Headline: Fashion Through the Ages at Historic Hudson Valley. Impact: The fashion choices of historic interpreters inadvertently inspired a resurgence in vintage clothing, leading to an entire generation of hipsters wearing bonnets ironically. Thanks, Hudson Valley, for making the past cool again!. Fact: Did you know that fine linens and mustard-yellow woolens were once considered high fashion? Now, they're just what happens when you run out of laundry detergent..
• Headline: Save the Historic Hewlett Farmhouse. Impact: The plea to save an old house ignited a trend of historic preservation, resulting in countless hipster cafes taking over old buildings and serving overpriced lattes in what used to be a stable. Thanks, Hewlett family, for making history Instagrammable!. Fact: Did you know that houses built in the 1700s often have better insulation than modern homes? It's like they were built by ancestors who knew what a winter storm was!.
• Headline: HELPING THE POOR IN TRENTON TO HELP THEMSELVES. Impact: Rev. McCormick's message led to a grassroots movement teaching financial literacy, which somehow resulted in a new reality show where poor families compete for financial advice. Who knew helping the poor could be so entertaining?. Fact: Did you know that 'helping the poor help themselves' is just a fancy way of saying, 'We can't fix the system, but good luck!'?.
• Headline: SERMON BECOMES BOOK ON RAISING A 'MENSCH'. Impact: The success of Rabbi Kurshan’s book on raising a 'mensch' became the go-to guide for Jewish parents everywhere, resulting in a generation of overly polite children who can't make a decision without asking for permission first.. Fact: Did you know that a 'mensch' is someone who is honorable and responsible? So basically the opposite of how most people act on social media today..
• Headline: NEW JERSEY JOURNAL; MERCY MARATHON. Impact: Dr. Houpt's marathon run turned into an annual tradition, eventually morphing into a massive charity event where dentists from all over the country compete for the title of 'Most Philanthropic Tooth Fairy.'. Fact: Did you know that running a marathon is just an excuse for dentists to remind everyone they care about your teeth? 'You ran 26.2 miles, but can you floss?'.
• Headline: SHOPPER'S WORLD; Custom Cufflinks Made in London. Impact: The rise of custom cufflinks led to an absurd fashion trend where everyone suddenly needed personalized accessories, eventually resulting in a dystopian future where people are judged by their cufflink choices.. Fact: Did you know that cufflinks were originally invented to hold shirts together? Now they're just a way for men to show off their 'unique' sense of style. How original!.
• Headline: A DIRECTORY OF WINTER SAILINGS. Impact: The directory of winter sailings got transformed into a viral travel blog, inspiring a new generation of travelers who prefer to sail through winter storms while sipping hot cocoa and pretending they're on a luxury cruise.. Fact: Did you know that winter sailings are basically just a way to test your sea legs while freezing? Because who doesn’t want to be cold and seasick at the same time?.