OCTOBER 18, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: Local Farm Produce: Exploring the Gray Market. Impact: If farmers had just stuck to selling their produce without any gray market antics, maybe we'd have a world where organic kale wasn't a privilege for the wealthy. Instead, here we are, watching people trade apples for cryptocurrency.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'gray market' originated from black market traders who couldn't even be bothered to pick a color?.
• Headline: Children's Struggles and Cry for Help. Impact: Billy's cry for help sparked a nationwide trend of kids using fire as a metaphor for emotional struggles. Who knew that playing with matches would lead to the modern therapy industry?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Playing with fire' was originally just a fun way to say 'I have poor impulse control.'.
• Headline: Elegant Scottish Country Dancing. Impact: Scottish country dancing became a vehicle for royalty to flaunt their wealth. Little did they know that it would also inspire countless awkward prom nights across America.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than Scottish country dancing is trying to explain it to someone who has never seen it?.
• Headline: Looking for a Silver Lining. Impact: Barrett's reassurance to clients about drug stocks could have led to the rise of a new investment strategy: 'Buy low, panic later.' This eventually gave birth to hedge funds everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that stockbrokers have a unique talent for making losing money sound like a strategic investment?.
• Headline: VIEWS OF SPORT; STRIKE AFTERMATH: THE UNION'S NEXT STEP. Impact: The player's questions after the strike led to a new political movement: 'The NFL Players' Union for Better Questions.' Now players are wondering if they should just ask for a raise instead.. Fact: Fun fact: Asking 'What did the strike accomplish?' is the same as asking a cat why it knocks things off the table..
• Headline: Are Mcorp's Assets Spoken For?. Impact: Mcorp's struggles with bad loans may have inadvertently inspired future banking regulations. Who knew that financial disasters could lead to a whole new set of rules?. Fact: Did you know that bad loans are like bad relationships? They both leave you broke and regretting your life choices..
• Headline: PARK PLAN MOVES AHEAD DESPITE OPPOSITION. Impact: The park plan's push forward despite opposition paved the way for future debates about conservation versus commercialism. Now we have parks that are basically shopping malls with trees.. Fact: Did you know that 'opposition' is just a fancy word for 'people who prefer their nature unspoiled'?.
• Headline: Forged In War, Etched In Memory. Impact: The striking employees at Yale helped to birth a new era of student activism. Little did they know their actions would eventually lead to a meme about student loan debt.. Fact: Did you know that Yale students think that a picket line is actually a fancy line for getting free coffee?.
• Headline: YALE STUDENT GROUP SAYS THAT IN STRIKE, THEY'RE THE VICTIMS. Impact: The quest for a lobby to support the state plan may have unintentionally led to the rise of lobbyists as a profession. Thanks, New Jersey, for making backroom deals the norm!. Fact: Did you know that 'lobbyist' is just a fancy term for 'professional schmoozer'?.