OCTOBER 4, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Cape Ann's Scenic Beauty. Impact: Chamberlain's praises of Cape Ann spurred a wave of hipster tourism, leading to an influx of artisanal shops selling overpriced 'authentic' New England rocks. Who wouldn’t want to buy a stone for $50?. Fact: Fun fact: Cape Ann's reputation for beauty has led many to believe it’s where all the Instagram influencers were secretly trained..
• Headline: Tourism Booms in Long Island Summer. Impact: The banner year in tourism led to a decade-long competition among local businesses to outdo each other with increasingly ridiculous attractions. Coming soon: the World's Largest Sandcastle – because why not?. Fact: Did you know that the definition of 'banner year' for tourism is often just a euphemism for 'we ran out of things to do'?.
• Headline: WOLFF MEETS A FELLOW TRIUMVIR. Impact: Wolff meeting Hogwood created a ripple effect resulting in an unlikely collaboration that brought classical music to reality TV. 'Dancing with the Conductors' was born, much to the horror of purists.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason they met was to discuss who gets to wear the coolest tuxedo at the next concert?.
• Headline: Big Business Under the Big Top. Impact: The circus event inspired a new wave of animal rights activism, leading to elephants being treated better than many humans. Elephant pampering spas became a thing. Who knew elephants were the original influencers?. Fact: Fun fact: Elephants are the only animals that can remember a bad circus experience and will hold a grudge against clowns for life..
• Headline: Asbestos Problem Returns in Glen Cove. Impact: The asbestos problem in Glen Cove led to a chain reaction of DIY home improvement shows featuring 'creative' ways to deal with asbestos, including how to turn it into chic home decor. Because safety first, right?. Fact: Did you know that many people still confuse asbestos with that trendy new insulation foam? Spoiler: One of them is definitely a no-go..
• Headline: FOR RESORT, A MONTH TO RBMEMBER. Impact: September's productive month for the resort kicked off an annual competition for the title of 'Most Productive Month,' with each city trying to outdo the last, resulting in ridiculous marketing campaigns. 'Come visit, we promise not to disappoint!'. Fact: Fun fact: September is actually the month where all bad vacation decisions are made, so proceed with caution!.
• Headline: DEMOCRATS SEEKGAINS IN 3 SHORE DISTRICTS. Impact: The Democrats’ search for gains created a 'political hunger games' scenario, with candidates now forced to compete in bizarre challenges to win votes. Think karaoke battles and bake-offs.. Fact: Did you know that political debates have now been replaced with reality TV-style elimination rounds? Who knew politics could be so entertaining?.
• Headline: SPEAKING PERSONALLY; HOW COME THERE'S NEVER A DISCOUNT ON LOVE?. Impact: The personal kitchen table confrontation led to an unexpected rise in family therapy sessions, as parents realized they could no longer dodge disputes over dinner conversations.. Fact: Did you know that the kitchen table is the real place where world peace negotiations take place? Just ask any family..