SEPTEMBER 6, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: Teaching Harsh Truths in Schools. Impact: As schools began tackling harsh truths, kids started forming underground clubs dedicated to avoiding the grim realities. This led to a bizarre trend of students faking injuries to avoid health classes, sparking the invention of the 'Injury Excuse Note' industry. Thank you, education!. Fact: In some states, it's still legal for schools to serve pizza as a vegetable. So, while you're teaching harsh truths, don't forget to mention that!.
• Headline: Miss America Pageant Leadership Change. Impact: Albert J. Marks Jr.'s departure from the Miss America Pageant inadvertently opened the door for a wave of reality TV shows that would eventually lead to the rise of 'Survivor: The Pageant Edition'. Who knew pageantry could inspire such a survivalist mentality?. Fact: The Miss America Pageant has been around since 1921, but if you ask me, the real competition is who can wear the most sequins without suffocating..
• Headline: Discovering Connecticut's Wildlife Wonders. Impact: The naturalists' report on Connecticut's wildlife led to a series of panic attacks in suburban neighborhoods, as people mistook squirrels for bears. This fear eventually sparked the 'Squirrel Awareness Month', turning critters into local celebrities.. Fact: Bears can run up to 35 miles per hour. So, if you see one, don't try to outrun it. Just offer it a picnic basket instead!.
• Headline: A COOK'S TOUR OF EUROPE. Impact: Polly Stewart Fritch's culinary tours led to an unforeseen culinary diplomacy initiative, where chefs became the new ambassadors. It turned out that offering someone a good soufflé was way more effective than a political debate.. Fact: The world's most expensive pizza costs over $12,000 and comes topped with three types of caviar. So, if you ever need an excuse to break the bank, there's that!.
• Headline: AS TAX RELIEF ENDS, YONKERS RACEWAY PONDERS THE ODDS. Impact: As tax relief ended, Yonkers Raceway became a magnet for conspiracy theorists who believed horse racing was secretly a government ploy to distract citizens from economic woes. This led to the great 'Horse Whisperer' movement of 1997.. Fact: Some horses can weigh as much as 1,200 pounds! So, just imagine the tax deductions if they could file returns..
• Headline: IN SCHOOLS, INCREASE IN PUPILS FORSEEN AFTER DECLINE. Impact: The increase in pupil numbers saw schools creating ever more elaborate graduation ceremonies, eventually leading to the phenomenon of 'Graduation Day Raves'. Because nothing says 'adulting' like a DJ and a cap toss.. Fact: The average student will spend over 12,000 hours in school by the time they graduate. That’s a lot of time spent wondering why they didn’t learn about taxes..
• Headline: DEMOCRATS PRESS FOR A NORTHERN BOARD SEAT. Impact: The Democrats' push for a northern board seat sparked a county-wide trend of political 'seat-saving', where residents began physically sitting on park benches to claim their territory. This led to an annual event known as 'The Great Bench Sit-off'.. Fact: Political campaigns often cost millions, yet the most effective campaign strategy is still just good old 'talking to people'. Who knew democracy could be so low-tech?.
• Headline: AND ONE WHO WENT IN SEARCH OF THE CONTRAS. Impact: Frank Kinney's quest for the contras led to a brief surge in amateur photography, as many sought to become the next big photojournalist. This resulted in the 1989 launch of 'Instagram', but with way less duck face and more political tension.. Fact: The camera was invented in the early 19th century, but it took until the 21st century for people to figure out how to take selfies with it..
• Headline: DINING OUT; FRESHNESS IS KEY IN EASTCHESTER. Impact: The dining experience in Eastchester became legendary, with patrons forming a 'waiting club' to bond over their shared misery. The restaurant later capitalized on this by introducing a 'Gloomy Bar Special' for those who embraced the ambiance.. Fact: The phrase 'dining out' originally referred to eating outside. Nowadays it just means waiting in line for overpriced food in a crowded space. Progress!.
• Headline: HEWLETT SEEKS FENCES NEAR RAILROAD TRACKS. Impact: Hewlett's focus on safety near railroad tracks led to a nationwide campaign for community safety that accidentally resulted in a spike in the popularity of train-themed parties. Who knew railroads could inspire such wild celebrations?. Fact: Fences are often used to keep people out, but they can also keep people in. Just ask the fence builders in the 19th century, who really missed the memo on personal space..