JULY 9, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Evolution of the American Backyard. Impact: The emergence of the American backyard as a cultural staple led to an explosion of BBQ contests, neighborhood rivalries, and the creation of the infamous 'lawn care tips' online forums. All of this has now culminated in an international obsession with perfect grass that can only be rivaled by the Olympics.. Fact: Did you know that spending too much time in your backyard can lead to 'lawn envy'? It's a serious condition, often treated with a quick trip to the local hardware store..
• Headline: New Leader Amidst Bankruptcy. Impact: The appointment of Robert G. Truesdell 2d as the new chief of McLean Industries sent shockwaves through the corporate world, leading to a trend of '2d' names becoming the next big thing in the business hierarchy. Corporate parents everywhere started naming their children with 'the second' for better job prospects.. Fact: Fun fact: If you add 'the second' to your name, it increases your chance of getting a corner office by at least 37%. Just don’t ask how we figured that out..
• Headline: Crocker Executives Join Mellon Bank. Impact: The reunion of ex-Crocker executives at Mellon Bank marked the beginning of a corporate soap opera that would inspire future generations of business students to write case studies on dysfunctional workplaces. They even spawned a reality show titled 'Survivor: Corporate Edition'.. Fact: Did you know that when corporate executives reunite, they often exchange awkward glances and regret-filled memories? It’s like a high school reunion, but with fewer nostalgic feelings and more stock options..
• Headline: STAINS PROVIDE A NEW LOOK. Impact: The rise of stains as a decorative choice turned woodworking into a competitive sport, leading to bizarre trends like 'stain art' competitions. Who knew wood could become the next canvas for the avant-garde?. Fact: Fun fact: Applying stain to wood can either enhance its beauty or make it look like a toddler's art project. Always a gamble!.
• Headline: A NEW ROOM IN THE HOUSE: THE AMERICAN BACKYARD; OUTDOORS, ALL THE ELECTRONIC COMFORTS OF HOME. Impact: The introduction of cordless outdoor electronics led to a revolution in backyard parties, where people could finally pretend to enjoy nature while still scrolling through their phones. It paved the way for the eventual invention of the 'Wi-Fi hammock'—because who needs to fully disconnect?. Fact: Did you know that the invention of cordless outdoor gadgets has resulted in more people accidentally dropping their smartphones in pools? It's like a modern-day rite of passage..