APRIL 27, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: Divided Opinions on Science School Proposal. Impact: If only Cuomo had asked for extra credit! The division over this science school proposal led to years of arguments in the state legislature over educational priorities, ultimately resulting in a generation of students who became either brilliant scientists or incredibly confused baristas.. Fact: Did you know that the best mathematicians often have a second career as philosophers? Just ask them when they can't figure out how to pay their student loans!.
• Headline: Reforming Parental Rights Legislation. Impact: This proposal to strip parental rights laid the groundwork for debates on parental involvement, which would later lead to the invention of 'parenting apps'—because nothing says 'good parenting' like an algorithm telling you when to hug your child.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'helicopter parent' was originally coined when a parent attempted to hover over their child's kindergarten classroom..
• Headline: KEY ISSUES FOR L.I. TAKE SHAPE IN ALBANY. Impact: The discussions on environmental issues in Albany would eventually lead to an entire generation of activists who thought 'recycling' meant refolding their old protest signs for the next rally—because, you know, saving the planet is exhausting.. Fact: Did you know that if you recycle a single aluminum can, you can save enough energy to run a TV for three hours? Just imagine how many hours of binge-watching that adds up to!.
• Headline: LOUIS SULLIVAN'S CHICAGO. Impact: Louis Sullivan's architectural misfortunes led to a renaissance of preservationists who decided to save buildings that nobody knew existed. Who knew that 'ugly' could become 'retro'?. Fact: Did you know that many of Sullivan's buildings were so avant-garde that people thought they were just really big mistakes? Talk about being ahead of your time!.
• Headline: WHAT'S NEW IN PRIVATE PRISONS; CARPETS AND COURSES FOR $100 A DAY. Impact: The rise of private prisons transformed the criminal justice system into a bizarre blend of hospitality and incarceration, paving the way for a future where prisoners were offered spa days—because who doesn't want to relax behind bars?. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'prison break' used to refer to an escape, but now it also includes those unfortunate spa days that lead to a lot of self-reflection..
• Headline: O'ROURKE RELEASES LIST OF COUNTY LAND. Impact: O'Rourke's list of county land sparked a frenzy of land speculation that would later inspire reality shows about 'extreme land flipping'—because who doesn't want to see people fight over a patch of grass?. Fact: Did you know that some people treat land ownership like a game of Monopoly? It’s all fun and games until someone lands on Boardwalk and has to mortgage their soul!.
• Headline: TWO HADYNS AND 2 EXPERTS IN CAMDEN. Impact: The Haydn festival not only celebrated music but also established the precedent for sibling rivalry in classical music. Now, every time a musician performs, they must ask: 'Could my brother have done it better?'. Fact: Did you know that sibling musicians often have a secret competition? Just wait until they start releasing their own 'best of' albums!.
• Headline: TO SAVE WATER BIRDS, THEY'LL COUNT THEM. Impact: The counting of water birds led to an obsession with environmental statistics that eventually resulted in people counting everything from trees to their own steps. Now we have 'step counters' that can't count on their own!. Fact: Did you know that counting birds can actually reduce stress? Too bad it doesn't work for counting bills—those just keep flying away!.