APRIL 9, 1987

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rick Manning Reflects on Team Performance. Impact: Rick Manning's sarcastic acceptance of mediocrity inspired a generation of athletes to lower their expectations, leading to the birth of the 'Participation Trophy' era. Thanks, Rick, for teaching everyone that 15 games out is basically the same as winning!. Fact: Did you know that Rick Manning once thought hitting .250 was an impressive achievement? Spoiler alert: it wasn’t..
• Headline: Studio Glass Revolutionizes Contemporary Craft. Impact: This exhibition kicked off the trend where people realized that glass could be more than just a way to hold their drinks. Soon, entire houses were crafted from glass, leading to the invention of the phrase 'Hey, watch where you’re stepping!'. Fact: Fun fact: glassblowing was once considered a dangerous profession. Apparently, hot glass and clumsy hands don’t mix well. Who knew?.
• Headline: Revolutionary Gardening Tools Unveiled. Impact: The introduction of lightweight, easy-to-use gardening tools led to a widespread epidemic of suburbanites overestimating their gardening skills. Soon, entire neighborhoods turned into jungles as people tried to 'just plant a few flowers!'. Fact: Did you know that gardening enthusiasts often brag about their 'green thumbs'? Turns out, many of them just have thumbs covered in dirt and regrets..
• Headline: Advertising; An All-Out Effort for Kool-Aid. Impact: The wild antics of Pee-Wee Herman not only revitalized Kool-Aid sales but also set a precedent for future commercials, leading to the rise of absurdity in advertising. Now, if only that could translate to better product quality!. Fact: Fun fact: Kool-Aid was originally marketed as a powder to make 'delicious' drinks. Today it’s often just a way to get kids hyped on sugar and color before they crash harder than a bad sitcom..