NOVEMBER 23, 1986

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reassessing Long Island's Growth Paradigm. Impact: The decision to take a time out on growth led to a series of over-caffeinated town hall meetings, where residents decided that traffic jams were actually just a modern form of community bonding. Fast forward to 2023, and now people are carpooling to sit in traffic together, forming lifelong friendships and a new social movement: 'Traffic Jam Therapy.'. Fact: Did you know that the first traffic jam ever recorded happened in 1903? It was caused by a horse-drawn carriage and a very confused pedestrian. Progress, right?.
• Headline: Understanding O'Rourke's Tax Proposal. Impact: O'Rourke's tax increase proposal led to a series of local government officials developing an obsession with new math, resulting in the infamous '1% = 3%' debacle that left taxpayers scratching their heads and questioning their own math skills.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'It's not you, it's me' was first used by a politician discussing tax increases? No wonder no one trusts them..
• Headline: CHALLENGES AWAIT YONKERS MANAGER. Impact: DeSantis’s challenges as Yonkers City Manager set off a chain reaction of other city managers around the country suddenly realizing they had financial problems too. This culminated in a national conference where all the managers bonded over their shared incompetence and decided to form a support group.. Fact: Did you know that city managers are often referred to as the 'adult supervision' of local governments? Apparently, they forgot to take their roles seriously..
• Headline: DEALERS SEEK OLD TREASURES FROM EUROPE'S COUNTRY MANORS. Impact: As dealers sought treasures from Europe's country manors, the antique trade became so competitive that it led to a black market for 'vintage' items, with people dressing up as aristocrats to sneak into estate sales. This created an unexpected subculture of 'Antique Cosplay.'. Fact: Fun fact: The most expensive piece of furniture ever sold at auction was a Louis XV commode that fetched over $3 million. Guess someone really wanted to impress their guests – or hide their snacks..
• Headline: A SPECIAL THANKS ON THANKSGIVING. Impact: The Inkster family's year-round Thanksgiving spirit led to the creation of a new holiday called 'Thanksgiving Every Day,' where people celebrated with turkey dinners and gratitude notes, resulting in a nationwide weight gain of 15 pounds per person by 2025.. Fact: Did you know that the first Thanksgiving in 1621 lasted three days? It’s no wonder they didn’t want to repeat it every year – can you imagine the leftovers?.
• Headline: LEGISLATORS STUDY WAYS TO STIMULATE PRODUCTIVITY. Impact: Legislators trying to stimulate productivity set off a frenzy of productivity apps and motivational memes that flooded the internet. By 2025, everyone was too busy increasing their productivity to actually legislate anything meaningful.. Fact: Did you know that the average person spends over two hours a day on productivity tools? Ironically, that leaves less time to actually be productive..
• Headline: GROUPS TO HEAR 'CHILDREN OF WAR'. Impact: The proclamation of 'Children of War Week' led to a national movement to bring awareness to child soldiers, sparking a global initiative that resulted in a small army of children's rights activists who became the real superheroes of the 21st century.. Fact: Did you know that the concept of a 'child soldier' has been around for centuries? Fortunately, modern efforts are gradually working to end this tragic practice..