SEPTEMBER 14, 1986

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Historical Fashion Through Time. Impact: The costume show at the Huntington Historical Society inadvertently sparked a nationwide trend of people dressing like historical figures, leading to an awkward 21st century where every party has a 'Civil War reenactor' corner.. Fact: Did you know that back in the day, a parlor was not just a room where you awkwardly chatted with relatives, but the hottest spot to show off your latest 'gilt' collection? Kind of like Instagram but with more lace..
• Headline: Dating at the Social Safeway. Impact: The Georgetown Safeway's rise as a dating hotspot triggered a nationwide phenomenon where supermarket aisles became the preferred venue for awkward first dates, thus making the bread aisle the new romantic hotspot.. Fact: If you ever wondered why grocery stores have such enticing smells, it's because they want you to linger...and maybe meet 'the one' over a slightly bruised avocado..
• Headline: Challenges Facing Urban Supermarkets Today. Impact: The struggle of supermarkets in urban areas led to the birth of 'Gourmet Grocery Delivery Services,' ensuring that city dwellers could now spend exorbitant amounts of money to avoid ever setting foot in a store again.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'supermarket' was once considered a joke. Can you imagine grocery shopping being a comedy routine? 'Oh no, not the frozen peas again!'.
• Headline: SUFFOLK STUDYING CHANGES IN POLICE FORCE. Impact: Suffolk County's police reform discussions resulted in a ripple effect of police departments across the country suddenly deciding it might be a good idea to actually listen to the community. Shocking, I know.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'to serve and protect' actually has a legal definition? Sadly, it doesn't include 'to serve and protect your ego' as many might think..
• Headline: 90-CENT FARE ON THE BUSES IS IN DANGER NEXT YEAR. Impact: The potential fare hike on buses led to a wave of unanticipated protests, which ultimately resulted in a new genre of protest music: 'The Ballads of the Bus Riders.'. Fact: Pro tip: If you ever want to feel like royalty, just ride a bus when the fare is 90 cents. You may not have a crown, but you’ll feel like a million bucks... until next year..
• Headline: WHAT'S NEW AT THE SUPERMARKET; Hopping on the Fitness Bandwagon. Impact: The library's frantic move due to asbestos contamination led to a nationwide trend in libraries embracing digital formats, which ironically resulted in more people pretending they read books instead of actually reading them.. Fact: Asbestos: the gift that keeps on giving... in terms of health risks. Libraries everywhere were thrilled to swap dusty books for the smell of fresh e-reader plastic..
• Headline: RISING CONCERN ON ASBESTOS. Impact: Victorian house investments sparked a bizarre trend where urban hipsters began retrofitting their homes with vintage decor, thus making 'steampunk' a legitimate design style, and also a reason for people to wear goggles indoors.. Fact: Victorian houses: the ultimate way to make your home look like a museum where the only thing on display is your ability to keep up with the Joneses... or the Victorians..
• Headline: ANTIQUES; LEARNING ABOUT VICTORIAN HOUSES. Impact: Nepal's artistic allure resulted in an unexpected boom in tourism, leading to countless Instagram accounts dedicated to capturing the perfect shot of a pagoda... because nothing says 'authentic travel experience' like a filtered photo.. Fact: The triangle is sacred in Nepal, which explains why geometry was the most popular subject in their schools. No wonder the pyramids are so revered!.
• Headline: NEPAL'S ENDURING ART. Impact: Technological advances at supermarket checkouts created a strange dichotomy where shopping became more efficient but also resulted in more existential crises as shoppers struggled with self-checkout machines.. Fact: Did you know that self-checkout machines are basically just judgmental robots? They know when you've scanned 17 avocados and only paid for one, but who's counting?.
• Headline: WHAT'S NEW AT THE SUPERMARKET; High Tech at the Check-Out Counter.