OCTOBER 27, 1985

Full News Archive

• Headline: Insights from Dr. George Sheehan. Impact: Dr. Sheehan's love for running inspired a global fitness craze, leading to the invention of the treadmill, which ironically became the nemesis of couch potatoes everywhere.. Fact: Despite being a cardiologist, Dr. Sheehan probably never prescribed a 'Netflix binge' as a cardio workout!.
• Headline: FLORIO AND RCA AT ODDS OVER SEMANTICS. Impact: The semantic showdown between Florio and RCA demonstrated that even corporations can get caught up in the quagmire of political correctness, leading to a future where even coffee breaks require a committee to define 'break.'. Fact: When it comes to semantics, it turns out arguing over definitions is more popular than discussing actual policies. Who knew?.
• Headline: THEATER GROUP IN AN ENCORE. Impact: The Nutmeg Players' revival of 'Dining Room' rekindled a passion for community theater across the country, resulting in an explosion of amateur productions—many of which should really be labeled as 'not suitable for public viewing.'. Fact: Community theater: where the lead actor is always someone’s aunt who just insists they can sing 'like the stars'—bless their heart!.
• Headline: LAWMAKERS SEEK TO CURB SCOFFLAWS OF AIRPLANE TAX. Impact: The airplane tax scofflaws led to a nationwide obsession with dodging taxes, ultimately spawning a new reality show: 'Tax Evaders: The High-Flying Edition.'. Fact: Funny enough, the only thing that flies higher than those planes is the average tax bill!.
• Headline: CONRAIL SALE STILL SIDETRACKED. Impact: The stalled sale of Conrail became a case study in bureaucracy that would be referenced by future politicians as a prime example of how to do absolutely nothing while looking busy.. Fact: Conrail's sale delays inspired the phrase 'the wheels of government turn slowly'—but hey, at least they’re turning, right?.
• Headline: WINE; HINTS ON SELECTING FOR MOST OCCASIONS. Impact: Wine selection tips not only helped people choose the right bottle but also accidentally led to the rise of snobby connoisseurs who think swirling a glass makes them experts.. Fact: Selecting wine is like dating; if you can’t pronounce it, it's probably not for you!.