MAY 30, 1985

Full News Archive

• Headline: Struggles of a Young Baseball Prodigy. Impact: If Shawon Dunston had actually hit better than a potato, he might have been the catalyst for a Cubs dynasty. Instead, his struggles led to the rise of a future Hall of Famer who would break records and hearts alike. Thanks, Shawon!. Fact: Did you know that a .194 batting average is just two points above the average for a potato? Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: SCOUTING: Responding to the Giants' GM. Impact: George Young's lukewarm praise of Herschel Walker could be seen as the moment when sports commentary took a nosedive into the bland abyss. Little did they know, this would eventually lead to a world where sports analysts just throw numbers around instead of actual opinions.. Fact: Fun fact: 'playing very well - in that league' is just a fancy way of saying 'you’re doing great... for a toddler playing T-ball.'.
• Headline: Soccer Unites Through Language Diversity. Impact: This multicultural soccer moment suggests that, had these players formed a united front, they might have sparked a global soccer revolution. Instead, they likely just confused the announcers with their names. So, thanks for nothing, 1970s soccer!. Fact: Did you know that soccer is the only sport where language barriers can be broken by a single kick to the shins? Just ask any player from any country!.