MAY 19, 1985

Full News Archive

• Headline: Developers Negotiate with Marina Owners. Impact: As developers sweet-talked marina owners, they inadvertently set off a chain reaction that led to the invention of 'marina chic'—a design aesthetic that made boat owners feel like they were living on a luxury yacht, even when they were just parked in a muddy slip.. Fact: Marina chic is now so popular that there are more Instagram influencers with yacht photos than actual yacht owners. Ah, the irony!.
• Headline: Fundraising Efforts for Legal Aid Increase. Impact: The struggle for legal funding led to the creation of a secret society of lawyers who meet in basements to discuss their failed cases and how to convince clients to pay in cookies instead of cash.. Fact: 34,614 clients served means that 1984 was apparently the year of the world's most exclusive legal club. Who knew legal services could be so exclusive?.
• Headline: Voting Education Initiative for Schools. Impact: The distribution of how-to-vote tapes sparked a national movement of students demanding their voices be heard, leading to the first-ever student-led revolution where they demanded pizza parties instead of political debates.. Fact: Miss Miskella’s unimpressed reaction was a precursor to the apathy that would fuel countless memes about voting in the years to come. Thanks, Miss Miskella!.
• Headline: THE LIVELY ARTS; ALL FOR ''THIS FIERCE LOVE'' OF BACH. Impact: The passionate embrace of Bach's music inadvertently caused a resurgence in classical music appreciation, leading to a dramatic increase in people using phrases like 'I only listen to vinyl' at parties.. Fact: Latin purists scoffed, but it was really just a cover-up for their inability to dance to Bach. Who knew classical music could be so controversial?.
• Headline: GRUENWALD TO FOCUS ON MUSEUM FUNDS. Impact: Dr. Grunewald’s professional begging led to the establishment of 'National Begging Day,' where citizens are encouraged to ask for donations for their 'artistic endeavors'—or just for coffee.. Fact: The phrase 'professional beggar' has since been rebranded in many circles as 'fundraising consultant.' The more you know!.
• Headline: CASE STUDY: A ONETIME HIGHFLIER; NIKE STRUGGLES TO HIT ITS STRIDE AGAIN. Impact: Nike's struggle to regain its footing resulted in the company's realization that selling overpriced shoes could be a viable strategy, sparking the modern era of sneaker culture where people camp outside stores for days.. Fact: Nike’s ups and downs mean that at least two generations of kids learned the phrase 'Just Do It' while simultaneously doing nothing. A true paradox!.
• Headline: LANDFILL SITE MAY CONTAIN INDIAN GRAVES. Impact: The discovery of potential Indian graves at a landfill site led to a much-needed national dialogue about respecting indigenous land, ultimately inspiring a series of protests and, ironically, a new genre of environmental documentaries.. Fact: The irony of digging through trash to find history wasn’t lost on archaeologists. Who knew landfills could be the new archaeological gold mines?.
• Headline: WHAT'S DOING IN DUBLIN. Impact: The restoration of the Royal Hospital sparked a tourism boom that not only revitalized Dublin's economy but also led to the unprecedented rise of 'Instagrammable' historic sites, where the true history is often overshadowed by selfie sticks.. Fact: The Royal Hospital’s restoration was so elaborate that it gave rise to a new theory: if you build it, they will come—especially if there’s Wi-Fi..
• Headline: NEW, IMPLANTABLE PUMP IS A MAJOR WEAPON IN THE WAR AGAINST PAIN. Impact: Louise Robinson’s brave battle against cancer and the subsequent development of an implantable pump changed the landscape of pain management forever, leading to a world where pain relief is just a doctor’s appointment away.. Fact: Pain management technology has advanced so much that someday, we might just have a remote control for pain—who knew that would be the future?.
• Headline: ART; ANIMALS AND IDEAS LARGE AS LIFE. Impact: Innovative artists like Don Nice paved the way for a future where art became so abstract that people began to question if they were actually looking at art or just a well-placed stain on the wall.. Fact: The phrase 'large as life' now refers not only to art but also to the egos of modern artists. Talk about a double entendre!.