JANUARY 20, 1985

Full News Archive

• Headline: Advancements in Computer Psychology. Impact: The shift towards user-friendly machines led to the rise of tech-savvy grannies, who now run online businesses selling knitted hats. Little did they know, their success would inadvertently cause a global knitting shortage.. Fact: Fun fact: Computer psychology was originally just a way for programmers to justify their caffeine addiction..
• Headline: Exploring Computer Network Ethics at Stevens. Impact: The study of computer network ethics eventually led to the rise of tech 'influencers' who preach the importance of ethical browsing. Ironically, their influence caused a decline in actual ethical behavior online.. Fact: Did you know that the first computer ethics debate was actually about whether it was ethical to let your computer play solitaire instead of working? Spoiler: it lost..
• Headline: BRASS WORKERS TO OWN THEIR MILL. Impact: When brass workers owned their mill, the spirit of entrepreneurship swept through the industry, leading to the first-ever Brass Olympics, where machinists competed for the title of 'Best at Turning Metal into Gold.'. Fact: Did you know that 'brass' is also a term for the military, which makes owning a brass mill sound like a bizarre version of 'Survivor: Industrial Edition'?.
• Headline: WHAT'S NEW IN COMPUTER PSYCHOLOGY. Impact: The influx of computers in offices led to the creation of the 'Ctrl+Z' generation, where everyone believes they can undo their mistakes in real life. Spoiler: You can't.. Fact: Did you know that nearly 12 million computers were cursed at the same time? It was the largest collective exorcism in history..
• Headline: ART; MILTON CANIFF: THE PEN CALLED 'THE REMBRANDT OF COMICS'. Impact: Milton Caniff's work paved the way for modern comics, which inspired a generation of artists to believe that drawing stick figures could also be a career. Who knew laziness could be so lucrative?. Fact: Did you know that Raven Sherman is basically the first 'damsel in distress' trope? Just imagine if she had a smartphone – she could've just called for help!.
• Headline: GARDENING; GROUND COVERS FOR BARREN, SHADY SPOTS. Impact: The introduction of ground covers led to a new gardening trend, resulting in backyard jungles where homeowners could hide from their in-laws. This eventually turned into an underground competition for the 'Best Backyard Hideout.'. Fact: Did you know that many gardeners took this advice and accidentally created their own version of 'Jurassic Park'? Just remember to avoid the T-Rex!.
• Headline: DELEGATION TO ALBANY DEBATES ORGANIZATION. Impact: The heated debates in Albany led to the unexpected development of 'Political Bingo,' where every time a representative said something ridiculous, people shouted 'Bingo!' and celebrated mediocrity.. Fact: Did you know that the last time politicians had a heated debate, it was over whether to serve coffee or tea at meetings? Spoiler: They served neither..
• Headline: STATE TO EMPHASIZE PRODUCE FRESHNESS.