NOVEMBER 25, 1984

Full News Archive

• Headline: Third Quarter Growth Sees Significant Decline. Impact: The 1.9% growth drop sent economists into a frenzy, leading to a global panic that ultimately resulted in everyone hoarding toilet paper and canned beans for the next recession that never quite came. Fact: Analysts were shocked, but did they really think the economy was on a permanent growth spurt? Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
• Headline: Foreign Children Receive Aid and Compassion. Impact: Mrs. Glick’s efforts to help foreign children sparked a chain reaction that led to the worldwide popularity of volunteerism—because who doesn’t want to save the world while posting selfies on Instagram?. Fact: Mrs. Glick was once told she should stay in her lane, but she replied, 'I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness.'.
• Headline: Historic Wantagh Railroad Station Turns 99. Impact: Depot's struggle for 100 years became a symbol of perseverance, inspiring countless buildings to hold on just a little longer, hoping to reach their centennial without falling apart. Fact: The depot is basically the building equivalent of a geriatric waiting for their birthday cake—sweet, but not without its wrinkles.
• Headline: DISABLED TO SHOW THEIR ART ABILITIES. Impact: Kelly’s artistic endeavors opened the door for more inclusive art programs, leading to a future where artists with disabilities become the trendiest new avant-garde movement. Fact: Cutting construction paper is the new yoga—it's all about mindfulness and creativity, folks!.
• Headline: U.S. REBUFFS STATE ON DRG SYSTEM. Impact: The U.S. rebuffing New Jersey’s health care requests led to a series of bureaucratic battles that made the War of Roses look like a friendly neighborhood barbecue. Fact: Dr. Carolyn K. Davis probably had a better chance of getting a cat to follow her instructions than convincing the state to comply with federal health guidelines.
• Headline: ART; ABSTRACT IMAGERY MARKS GROUP SHOW. Impact: This art show marked the beginning of a trend in galleries everywhere to showcase 'abstract' art, which many now interpret as 'I could have done that in my sleep.'. Fact: Abstract art: where the paint splatters have more personality than the artists themselves.
• Headline: SAVING THE GREAT 'SAILS' OF L.I.. Impact: The push to save the 'sails' led to a revival of local history appreciation, resulting in the birth of the 'Keep Our History Alive' campaign, which ironically often involves forgetting where we put the old documents. Fact: Preserving history is great and all, but have you ever tried to find a place for all that old junk? It’s like trying to organize a toddler’s toy room.
• Headline: PROSPECTS. Impact: The Federal Reserve's discussions on discount rates created a butterfly effect that led to coffee shops everywhere offering discounts for every single economic downturn, just to keep the customers coming. Fact: Discount rates—because nothing says 'we care about the economy' like a half-off mocha latte.
• Headline: ART; DIVERSE SHOW OPENS GALLERY. Impact: The inauguration of the Newspace Gallery marked a shift in local culture, leading to so many diverse shows that eventually, even the local pets started getting art exhibitions. Fact: Diversity in art? Oh please, we all know the real art is in the gallery's snack table.