AUGUST 19, 1984

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Upper Crust Bakery Experience. Impact: The Upper Crust Bakery's gourmet delights led to an explosion of artisanal bakeries worldwide, causing a global shortage of gluten and a rise in hipster barista culture. Who knew a croissant could change the world?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'gourmet' comes from the French word for 'a wine waiter'? So, really, this bakery is just a fancy place for your wine and bread pairing needs..
• Headline: Asbury Park's Blight Revitalization Efforts. Impact: Asbury Park's anti-blight campaign became the template for urban revitalization, eventually leading to a nationwide trend of hipster gentrification—turning once-blighted neighborhoods into overpriced coffee shop havens.. Fact: Asbury Park was once known for its boardwalk and beach, but now it's more famous for overpriced rent and artisanal soap shops. Talk about a glow-up!.
• Headline: BALDNESS: THE TRANSPLANT OPTION. Impact: Daniel Stango's hair transplant initiative inadvertently launched a global obsession with hair restoration, resulting in a billion-dollar industry that left many with more hair than sense.. Fact: Did you know that baldness affects approximately 70% of men at some point in their lives? The remaining 30% just haven’t admitted it yet..
• Headline: BILL TO LICENSE DIETITIANS SETS OFF DISPUTE. Impact: The dietitian licensing bill ignited a fierce debate on nutrition that continues to this day, resulting in a world where everyone thinks they’re an expert after watching a few YouTube videos. Thanks, internet!. Fact: Nutrition advice from the average person is about as reliable as a weather forecast. Proceed with caution when accepting unsolicited diet tips!.
• Headline: WHAT'S DOING IN THE CONNECTICUT RIVER VALLEY. Impact: The whimsical references to Rudyard Kipling's stories in the Connecticut River Valley led to a resurgence in literacy and storytelling, making bedtime stories a competitive sport among parents.. Fact: Kipling’s 'Just So Stories' were originally intended for his daughter. So, next time you read them to your child, remember—they were just a dad trying to get a good night’s sleep!.
• Headline: GARDENING; PERENNIALS CAN ADD VARIETY AND CHARM. Impact: The resurgence of perennials in gardening led to an explosion of backyard gardening culture, inspiring countless social media influencers to show off their 'homegrown' plants, most of which are just glorified weeds.. Fact: Perennials are the ultimate introverts of the plant world; they come back year after year without needing to be replanted, unlike those needy annuals..
• Headline: THE SCHOOLS; ...AND INPUT BY TEACHERS. Impact: The integration of teacher input in schools sparked a revolution in educational reform, leading to classrooms where students are both heard and overwhelmed by too many opinions about how to learn.. Fact: Teacher input is now considered essential, which is great until you realize that 'input' can also mean 'let's try every trendy teaching method until something sticks.'.
• Headline: DINING OUT; OLD-FASHIONED FRENCH CUISINE. Impact: The revival of old-fashioned French cuisine led to a nostalgic trend in dining, where restaurants began offering 'retro' menus, causing a culinary time warp that made the 80s fashionable again—just without the shoulder pads.. Fact: French cuisine is the culinary equivalent of a classic film—always in style, and somehow, still manages to be pretentious no matter how many times you try to eat it comfortably..
• Headline: PILOBOUS DANCERS MAKING A HOME. Impact: The Pilobolus Dance Theater's establishment in Connecticut birthed a new appreciation for modern dance, ultimately leading to a cultural shift where everyone suddenly thinks they can interpret their feelings through interpretive dance.. Fact: Pilobolus is known for its innovative choreography, which is a fancy way of saying 'we put a lot of effort into making awkward movements look artistic.'.