MAY 20, 1984

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cooking Aids Through the Ages. Impact: Little did they know, this simple mixing of pantries would lead to future chefs attempting to recreate dishes from 17th-century France using 20th-century African storage jars, resulting in culinary chaos.. Fact: Did you know that the first cookbook was written in Ancient Mesopotamia? They didn’t have cookie cutters, but they did have a lot of clay tablets with very specific recipes..
• Headline: JONES REFLECTS ON FESTIVAL. Impact: Jones’s evaluation of that theater could have turned into a reality show about the struggles of trying to make art in a town with a population smaller than most high school graduations.. Fact: Did you know that theaters were originally places where people went to watch plays and not just to complain about the price of popcorn?.
• Headline: LONG ISLAND GUIDE;. Impact: This library concert series could have sparked a renaissance of music appreciation, leading to a future where people actually read the terms and conditions of their streaming services.. Fact: Did you know that libraries have been around for thousands of years? Yet somehow, they still can’t manage to get rid of the late fees..
• Headline: NEW MEASURE DEFINES ABUSE OF COMPUTERS. Impact: If lawmakers hadn’t defined computer abuse, we could have entered a dystopian future where people were arrested for simply using their computers to play solitaire.. Fact: Did you know that the first computer virus was created in the 1980s? And no, it wasn’t a bad case of flu from too much computer use..
• Headline: BILL BANS FORCED RETIREMENT. Impact: Banning forced retirement could lead to a future where people work into their 90s, making the workforce a lively mix of fresh college graduates and elderly folks who don't know how to use email.. Fact: Did you know that the average retirement age keeps increasing? Pretty soon, the term 'retirement home' will just mean 'office with really good snacks.'.
• Headline: LIFE-CARE CENTER OPENS. Impact: The opening of this life-care center could inspire future generations to seek out life-care facilities that offer more amenities than five-star hotels. Who wouldn't want bingo with a view?. Fact: Did you know that life-care communities often have more activities planned than your average retirement party? Bring on the shuffleboard tournaments!.
• Headline: NATURE, ART AND ASTRONOMY. Impact: This combination of nature, art, and astronomy could lead to an artistic movement where people paint sheep and call it 'sheepism', revolutionizing the art world into a wooly frenzy.. Fact: Did you know that modern art can often look like a mess? But hey, at least it’s a mess that costs a fortune!.