NOVEMBER 28, 1983

Full News Archive

• Headline: Changing Wildlife Patterns and Island Theory. Impact: The 'Island Theory' led to the idea that all wildlife should have its own Instagram account, which eventually resulted in animals becoming influencers. Now, ducks have more followers than most humans, leading to an existential crisis among the avian community.. Fact: Birds have been known to confuse their own species with others for centuries. It's like a real-life game of 'Who's That Pokémon?', but with feathers..
• Headline: From Acropolis to Zappion Journey. Impact: David Plante's journey from Acropolis to Zappion inspired countless writers to travel the world, leading to an explosion of travel blogs that people pretend to read while actually staring at their phones.. Fact: Zappion is not just a place; it's also a reminder that one can be in ancient Greece and still somehow end up in a Starbucks..
• Headline: THE HIT-AND-RUN EXPRESS. Impact: Nick Yapp’s exploration of the hit-and-run phenomenon led to the creation of reality TV, where people take risks without the need for actual exploration. Who needs Lewis and Clark when you can just watch someone fail miserably on a game show?. Fact: Hit-and-run incidents may be thrilling for some, but they sure make for terrible road trip companions..
• Headline: LANDMARKS, LODGINGS, GETTIN AROUND. Impact: Athenian outrage over Pericles' beautification projects led to the birth of the modern protest movement. It turns out that complaining about aesthetics is a timeless tradition.. Fact: Pericles was essentially the original influencer, but instead of promoting skincare, he was promoting marble columns..
• Headline: CELEBRITY ISN'T MUCH TO CELEBRATE IN THESE MOVIES. Impact: The sordid tales of celebrity culture in movies have led to today's obsession with reality stars, proving that we really do love to watch trainwrecks, as long as they come with a side of drama.. Fact: Bob Fosse's work is a reminder that sometimes the only way to celebrate celebrity is with a good dose of irony and a jazz hand..
• Headline: NEW CREMATION SERVICE ROILS STATE'S FUNERAL DIRECTORS. Impact: Leo J. Gallagher Jr.’s low-cost cremation service sparked a revolution in the funeral industry, resulting in a rise of DIY funerals. Now, everyone can plan their own farewell party on a budget.. Fact: Cremation is becoming so popular that soon, funeral directors might just be hosting 'how-to' workshops instead of mourning services..
• Headline: FIFTH GRADERS TAKING OPERA ROLES. Impact: The fifth graders’ opera roles led to a newfound appreciation for the arts, but mostly just resulted in parents wishing they had chosen a less expensive hobby for their children—like competitive napping.. Fact: In the world of opera, kids can successfully fool audiences, but their parents still know when they’re just pretending to clean their room..
• Headline: INSIDER'S GUIDE TO GREEK CUISINE. Impact: Nicholas Gage's insider guide to Greek cuisine led to the global phenomenon of 'Greek Night' at local restaurants, where uninformed patrons awkwardly attempt to pronounce 'tzatziki.'. Fact: Greek cuisine is so good, it has single-handedly inspired the invention of the 'food coma.'.
• Headline: THE CHANGING FACE OF BANKING. Impact: The changing face of banking foreshadowed the rise of digital currencies, prompting more people to trust their money to the internet than their own bank teller. Good luck with that.. Fact: Automatic teller machines are the only machines that can make you feel both empowered and utterly broke at the same time..