OCTOBER 2, 1983

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding Violence and Mental Health. Impact: This forum sparked a nationwide trend where mental health professionals suddenly became 'experts' on violence, leading to a series of misguided reality shows and a spike in therapy dog ownership among the overly anxious.. Fact: Violence has been around longer than your great-great-grandparents, but it turns out talking about it is more popular than solving it!.
• Headline: Court Challenge for Palmer Square Renovation. Impact: The court fight over air rights escalated into a full-blown war of words, eventually leading to a legal precedent where every sneeze in a public space required a court hearing. Because who needs fresh air anyway?. Fact: Air rights are a real thing, and no, they don't come with a side of fries..
• Headline: LONG ISLAND GUIDE. Impact: The All Breed Show of Distinction sparked a fierce rivalry that culminated in a future where dogs hold more Instagram followers than actual celebrities, leading to the canine takeover of Hollywood.. Fact: Fun fact: Many of these dogs are more well-groomed than the average human, but hey, they don't have to pay rent!.
• Headline: AUTUMN IN VERMONT. Impact: The mix of food, shopping, and culture in Vermont attracted so many tourists that it inadvertently sparked a new trend of 'leaf-peeping' vacations, which later became a competitive sport.. Fact: Vermont is the only state where a 'leaf peeping' competition is considered a legitimate form of entertainment. Yes, really..
• Headline: WHAT'S HAPPENING IN CANADIAN BUSINESS; UNFETTERING THE FOREIGN BANKS. Impact: The debate over foreign banks led to a secret society of Canadian bankers forming, which ultimately resulted in the creation of the 'Great Maple Syrup Heist' of 2025.. Fact: In Canada, even banking disputes are polite. Expect to see 'sorry' and 'please' in the fine print of every financial agreement..
• Headline: RELAYING FOOD GIFTS BY PHONE. Impact: Marcy Hanenbaum’s catering service eventually expanded into a global empire, where Fortune 500 companies started using food as a new form of corporate bribery—complete with gourmet gift baskets.. Fact: In the catering world, a 'food gift' is just a fancy term for 'I forgot your birthday, but here’s some cake.'.
• Headline: ANTIQUES; MILLBURN: THE FRENCH CONNECTION. Impact: The French connection in Millburn led to an unexpected renaissance of French decor in suburban homes, causing a nationwide shortage of berets and baguettes.. Fact: Antiques are just old things that people decided are worth more money than the junk in their attic. So, you might have a gold mine hidden away!.