AUGUST 15, 1983

Full News Archive

• Headline: Innovative Youth in Science. Impact: Edward Johnson's ECG interpretation revolution, while impressive, led to a global obsession with heart health. This obsession eventually culminated in the invention of heart-shaped candy, which ironically caused more heart problems than it solved.. Fact: Did you know that ECGs were once interpreted using only a crystal ball? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that have made medical school way more fun?.
• Headline: Catherine Pollard's Boy Scout Leadership. Impact: Catherine Pollard's experience as scoutmaster became a cautionary tale for future leaders, inspiring the Boy Scouts to introduce mandatory 'How to Not Get Fired' training for all scoutmasters.. Fact: Did you know that the Boy Scouts once considered a merit badge for 'Avoiding Bureaucracy'? It was scrapped because the paperwork was too daunting..
• Headline: PLAY GETS NEW LIFE IN A NEW LANGUAGE. Impact: This project at the Eugene O'Neill Theater Center sparked a trend in translation that would eventually lead to a Broadway musical rendition of 'War and Peace,' proving that not all translations should be attempted.. Fact: Did you know that translating plays often involves less drama than actually performing them? Unless you're translating Shakespeare, then it's just drama all around..
• Headline: LONG ISLAND GUIDE ;. Impact: The newfound spotlight on local artists led to a renaissance of questionable art, resulting in a surge of abstract paintings that were literally just canvases splattered with paint. Critics called it 'post-modern genius.'. Fact: Did you know that 'local talent' often means your neighbor who decided to take up painting after binge-watching Bob Ross? Just think of the joy!.
• Headline: CUSTOMS SERVICE WEIGHS CURBING DUTY-FREE SHOPS. Impact: The Customs Service's plan to curb duty-free shops inadvertently led to the rise of underground 'Duty-Free Smuggling Rings,' where smugglers had to learn the art of disguise and deception, turning shopping into a high-stakes game.. Fact: Did you know that smuggling duty-free goods might just make you more popular at family gatherings? Who knew illegal goods could be a conversation starter?.
• Headline: PROSPECTS. Impact: The anticipated downturn in housing starts triggered a national panic, leading to a surge in DIY home improvement shows that taught people how to build their own homes out of cardboard and duct tape. Spoiler alert: it didn't end well.. Fact: Did you know that economists can predict downturns about as accurately as a fortune teller can predict your love life? Both are often wrong, but at least the fortune teller has a crystal ball!.
• Headline: FESTIVAL REFLECTS THE POLISH SPIRIT. Impact: The Polish Town Civic Association's festival reflected community spirit, but it also sparked the infamous 'Polish Dance-Off' that caused more sprained ankles than any event in history, leading to a nationwide ban on competitive dancing.. Fact: Did you know that the Polish spirit is said to be strong? Just as strong as the resolve of someone trying to dance after two shots of vodka..
• Headline: BOCCIE PLAYERS GAIN IN NUMBERS. Impact: Angelo Mattera's bocce success inspired a new trend in precision sports, paving the way for professional competitions in unconventional games like extreme hopscotch and competitive cloud-watching.. Fact: Did you know that bocce is just a fancy way of saying 'let’s throw stuff' while making it look sophisticated? It’s basically backyard fun, but with more Italian flair!.