MAY 13, 1983

Full News Archive

• Headline: 'Blue Thunder': The Helicopter Saga. Impact: After this helicopter made its debut, police departments across the globe began a never-ending arms race for cooler aerial vehicles. Fast forward to today, and we're only one budget meeting away from police drones that can deliver pizza—because why not?. Fact: The original 'Blue Thunder' helicopter was so iconic it almost started a new trend in law enforcement. But thankfully, they decided against mandatory helicopter lessons for all cops. Can you imagine the chaos?.
• Headline: Richard Gere Stars in 'Breathless'. Impact: Richard Gere's portrayal of doomed lovers set off a chain reaction of romantic movies where couples are forced to make bad decisions in the name of love. The result? Countless high school students believing that angst and bad decisions are the keys to romance.. Fact: Godard's original was so groundbreaking that it left many film critics wondering if they should even bother writing reviews anymore. Spoiler: they did, and they still haven't stopped..
• Headline: Celebrating Winston Churchill's Artistic Legacy. Impact: The cocktail party for Churchill's descendants sparked a series of family reunions among famous political figures. By 2050, we could be attending a reunion for the descendants of all the presidents, complete with awkward small talk and debates over who gets the last canapé.. Fact: It's rumored that one of the Churchill descendants actually brought a portrait of their great-grandfather to the party, which led to a heated debate over who looked better—Winston or Winston with a modern hairstyle..
• Headline: ECONOMIC NEWS LIFTS RATES. Impact: Economic fluctuations from this news led to a decades-long love-hate relationship with interest rates, causing countless individuals to become experts in what 'the Fed' means. Spoiler: it has nothing to do with your federal taxes.. Fact: This rise in interest rates was so predictable that even a crystal ball would have been like, 'Yawn, I've seen this forecast before.' But hey, at least it keeps the financial analysts employed, right?.