FEBRUARY 21, 1983

Full News Archive

• Headline: Playwright Lou Peterson's New Vision. Impact: Lou Peterson’s success led to a theater trend where playwrights started including giant leaps in their plots, thus inadvertently inspiring a whole generation of actors to wear oversized shoes on stage. Broadway became a circus overnight. Fact: Lou Peterson once claimed he could write a whole play in a single sitting—if only he had a lifetime supply of coffee and a good Wi-Fi connection.
• Headline: Child's Play Boutique Launches in Scarsdale. Impact: The opening of Child's Play sparked a secret society of parents who now only buy toys that require assembling, leading to a nationwide increase in parental patience (or the illusion of it). Fact: In a shocking twist, the most popular toy in 1954 was actually a box—because kids loved the idea of 'What’s inside?' more than the toy itself.
• Headline: CAMPUSES WOO CONGRESS. Impact: Yale's refusal to maintain a lobbyist inspired a grassroots movement among colleges, resulting in the formation of a secret society for 'Lobbyists Anonymous'—where they meet to lament their unrequited influence. Fact: Yale's motto is 'Lux et Veritas'—which translates roughly to ‘Light and Truth’ but could easily be 'We don’t need no lobbyist.'.
• Headline: DEER POPULATION: A GROWING CONCERN. Impact: The complaints about deer led to the creation of a deer advisory board, which then sparked the infamous 'Deer Summit'—an annual event where deer enthusiasts gather to argue about the best type of shrubbery for deer diets. Fact: Deer are known to be picky eaters; rumor has it they prefer organic, gluten-free options over the average lawn.
• Headline: CHANGES RUFFLE STONY BROOK. Impact: Ward Melville’s vision for Stony Brook kickstarted a domino effect of tiny towns trying to reinvent themselves, leading to the bizarre trend of small towns branding themselves as 'the next big thing'—because who doesn’t want a flashy sign?. Fact: The most controversial item in Stony Brook was actually a shoe store that sold one shoe at a time, because that’s all the town could handle.
• Headline: 2 REVIVED THEATERS SEARCH FOR NICHE. Impact: The revival of theaters on Long Island inspired a nationwide trend of restoring old theaters, leading to the rise of 'Nostalgic Theater Nights' where audiences dress like it’s the 1920s—flappers and all. Fact: Theaters have become so trendy that next year, they'll start charging admission based on the year of your outfit—because apparently nostalgia isn't free.
• Headline: SOUTHOLD SEEKS HORSE LIMIT. Impact: The horse loophole in Southold led to a bizarre increase in equestrian-related zoning laws, eventually resulting in the formation of 'Horse Dwellers'—a community that still debates the true meaning of 'urban farming.'. Fact: Some residents in Southold claim their horses have better social lives than they do—because who doesn't love a good hay party?.
• Headline: A COZY CORNER FOR CAROLINA'S FURNITURE CRAFTSMEN. Impact: As furniture purchasing habits shifted from impulse buys to careful considerations, a secret society of furniture craftsmen began curating 'anti-impulse' collections that ironically became super trendy. Fact: The most sought-after piece of furniture in the 1950s was actually a chair that could double as a time machine—at least, that’s what the sales pitch claimed.