JANUARY 10, 1983

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exquisite Craftsmanship in Furniture Design. Impact: As the trend of exotic wood furniture spread, so did the idea of overpriced, artisanal items. This led to the modern hipster movement, where people pay $300 for a chair that looks like it was salvaged from a dumpster. Thanks, fancy furniture!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complex than the intricate designs of exotic wood furniture is the price tag? It's like they want you to pay for the craftsmanship with your soul..
• Headline: Discovering the Fightingest Fish. Impact: The quest for the 'fightingest fish' resulted in the creation of a secret society among fishermen, where they would exchange tales of epic battles with fish. This obsession ultimately led to the invention of fishing memes, which now dominate social media feeds.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more aggressive than the 'fightingest fish' is the attitude of fishermen who claim their catch was at least 10 pounds heavier than it really was? Classic!.
• Headline: DINING OUT; TASTE OF PUNJAB AT BOMBAY PALACE. Impact: The misnomer of 'Bombay Palace' led to an identity crisis for Indian restaurants everywhere, resulting in a culinary arms race to create more confusing names. Eventually, we ended up with 'Sushi Tacos' and 'Korean BBQ Pizza.' You're welcome.. Fact: Did you know that calling a restaurant 'Bombay Palace' when the food is from Punjab is like calling a hot dog a 'French delicacy'? Bon appétit!.
• Headline: WINTER SWIMMING AND MORE AT HUDSON PARK BEACH. Impact: Winter swimming at Hudson Park led to a series of ridiculous social media challenges, inspiring people to jump into freezing water just to prove they can. This eventually evolved into the 'Ice Bucket Challenge,' though thankfully without the charity angle.. Fact: Did you know that swimming in winter was once considered a sign of insanity? Now it's just a badge of honor for the brave—or the foolish!.
• Headline: MADISON AVE. TOUCH SELLS COLLEGE DRIVES. Impact: The extravagant college drives led to a competitive culture in education, where institutions now spend more on lavish events than on actual student services. The result? A generation that believes a good time can outweigh student loan debt.. Fact: Did you know that the average college student spends more on coffee than on textbooks? Maybe it’s time to rethink those baronial dinners!.
• Headline: WALESA'S NEW JERSEY AMBASSADOR. Impact: Walter S. Brolewicz's role as an ambassador for Poland led to a surge in Polish pride in America, but also to a whole new level of pierogi competition in local eateries. This created the great 'Pierogi Wars' of the late '90s.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more stubborn than a Polish ambassador is a Polish grandmother insisting her pierogi recipe is the best? Good luck winning that argument!.