DECEMBER 17, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mystery of the Pink Panther Trail. Impact: The theft of the Pink Panther diamond led to a series of increasingly ridiculous heists that inspired a generation of cat burglars. By the year 2075, people were stealing diamonds with nothing but a rubber chicken and a kazoo. It’s all about creativity, folks.. Fact: Did you know that in the original Pink Panther movie, the diamond was actually a metaphor for the fragility of life? Just kidding—it's a diamond, and we all know it's just about the bling!.
• Headline: 'TOOTSIE' - A Timeless Comedy Classic. Impact: The success of 'Tootsie' paved the way for an endless parade of drag shows, leading to the establishment of the International Day of Appreciation for Men in Dresses, which ironically has fewer attendees than the actual drag shows themselves.. Fact: Did you know that the film nearly starred a cat instead of Dustin Hoffman? They decided against it after realizing a feline couldn't pull off the dresses quite as well..
• Headline: 'Best Friends' Marital Comedy Unveiled. Impact: The 'Best Friends' marital comedy set a precedent for screenwriters to pair up in real life, leading to a surge in romantic comedies that culminated in a 2020s love triangle involving three screenwriters and an overzealous pet goldfish.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'best friends' was originally coined to describe the relationship between two people who are too lazy to find actual friends?.
• Headline: 'SIX WEEKS'. Impact: The film 'Six Weeks' unintentionally inspired a new genre of tearjerker films where the audience is emotionally manipulated into crying for strangers, ultimately leading to a global shortage of tissues by the year 2040.. Fact: Did you know that the title 'Six Weeks' was chosen because it was the amount of time the scriptwriter took to recover from the emotional rollercoaster of writing it? Spoiler alert: he never did..