OCTOBER 17, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: Japan's Longevity Revolution. Impact: Japan's longevity revolution has caused a global health movement, leading to the invention of kale-flavored everything and a rise in yoga classes that no one actually attends. Thanks, Japan, for making everyone feel bad about their life choices.. Fact: Did you know that the secret to longevity in Japan is actually a strict diet of sushi and a daily dose of not taking life too seriously? Maybe we should all try that!.
• Headline: Discover the Otavalo Indian Market. Impact: The Otavalo market became an international sensation, inspiring countless hipsters to travel to Ecuador, buy colorful textiles, and then post photos online with hashtags that make the locals cringe. Thanks for the cultural appropriation, Instagram.. Fact: Did you know that the Indian market is so vibrant, it practically has its own Instagram filter? It's like a Pinterest board come to life, minus the DIY disasters..
• Headline: THE NATIONAL OUTLOOK ON EMPLOYMENT; THE SOUTHEAST. Impact: The Southeast's job market became the poster child for 'slow and steady wins the race,' leading to a future where the phrase 'I'm still looking' became a universal greeting in job fairs across the region. Congratulations on the never-ending job search!. Fact: Did you know that job growth in the Southeast is like a turtle on a treadmill? It’s moving, but boy, is it slow. Keep those resumes polished!.
• Headline: ANTIQUES; HOW CRAFTS BECAME BUSINESSES. Impact: The transformation of crafts into businesses marked the beginning of the 'handmade' revolution, leading to an era where artisanal pickle-making classes became a thing. Because who doesn’t want to pay $50 to learn how to pickle cucumbers?. Fact: Did you know that colonial handcrafts turned into businesses is basically the original 'get rich quick' scheme? All you needed was a few tools and a dream… and maybe some actual talent..
• Headline: EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT FO R TAFT'S COACH. Impact: Taft's victory not only solidified the coach's reputation but also sparked a long-standing rivalry that would lead to a series of increasingly ridiculous pranks between the schools. Because what’s more important than football? Pranking your opponents.. Fact: Did you know that winning in high school sports is a lot like winning in life? It usually involves a bit of luck, a lot of practice, and occasionally, a questionable referee decision..
• Headline: ART; MORE SCULPTURAL THAN ARCHITECTURAL. Impact: The Eiffel Tower's journey from 'eyesore' to 'icon' has inspired countless cities to erect their own questionable landmarks, leading to a world where tourists will take selfies in front of anything that stands taller than them. Cheers to bad taste!. Fact: Did you know that the Eiffel Tower was once the tallest building in the world? It’s pretty much the 'big kid on the block' of the architectural world, and it still takes all the attention..