SEPTEMBER 19, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: Prepare Your Garden for Frost. Impact: Little did we know that the frost preparation would lead to an underground movement of plants forming their own union to fight for fair weather rights. The ‘Frost Fighters’ are now a well-respected organization in the gardening community.. Fact: Did you know that if plants could talk, they'd probably say, 'Keep your hands off me, I’m just trying to survive this frost business!'.
• Headline: CO-OP TRYING TO SURVIVE. Impact: The struggles of the New Haven Food Co-op ignited the modern-day co-op movement, which now thrives on the belief that if you can’t beat the system, you might as well open a store and sell organic kale to hipsters.. Fact: Fun fact: The first co-ops were actually formed to unite people in their quest for affordable bread, not kale. How the times have changed!.
• Headline: STONY BROOK ASKS STUDENTS TO ENFORCE RULES OF CONDUCT. Impact: This initiative unexpectedly led to a chaotic time in Stony Brook's history, where students became the benevolent overlords of dormitory life, enforcing rules with the same zeal as medieval knights guarding their castles.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than a Student Conduct Code is trying to figure out which student staff member is enforcing it? Good luck!.
• Headline: GARDENING; GETTING YOUR PLANTS READY FOR FROST. Impact: See previous entry. The Frost Fighters are still going strong and have even expanded to include a lobbying group for better sunlight conditions.. Fact: Did you know that gardeners often talk to their plants? Honestly, it’s probably the only time they get an intelligent conversation all day..
• Headline: GARDENING; GETTING YOUR PLANTS READY FOR FROST. Impact: In case you missed it, the butterfly effect is getting out of control! The Frost Fighters are now demanding a seat at the table during climate change talks. Who knew gardening could lead to political activism?. Fact: Did you know that plants can actually sense when it’s cold? They just can’t figure out how to dress for it. Typical!.
• Headline: DAY-CARE CENTER CATERS TO FRAIL ELDERLY. Impact: This day-care center sparked a nationwide trend of senior care that included arts and crafts, leading to the emergence of 'senior hipsters' who are now the leading influencers on social media. Watch out Kardashians!. Fact: Did you know that the average grandparent has more social media followers than most influencers? They just post less because they’re too busy baking cookies and plotting world domination..
• Headline: NEW JERSEY GUIDE; A LITTLE RESPECT, PLEASE. Impact: The comedian’s late start in the industry inspired a generation of late-blooming artists, leading to a resurgence of talent in places like New Jersey, where people now joke about their lack of respect on purpose. Irony is alive and well!. Fact: Did you know that for every great comedian, there are at least ten who think they're funny but only have a captive audience at family gatherings? Sorry Aunt Linda!.