MAY 31, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discussing Jobs and Pregnancy Experiences. Impact: This debate over jobs and babies kicked off a centuries-long competition between parents and non-parents, spiraling into a reality TV show format that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know? Pregnant women have been fighting for seats on public transit since the dawn of time. Apparently, it's a rite of passage!.
• Headline: WHAT'S DOING IN; VANCOUVER. Impact: Vancouver's newfound fame led to an influx of tourists, which ultimately caused the city to become a hipster paradise where even the coffee shops have more beards than customers.. Fact: Did you know that Vancouver is so beautiful, it makes other cities jealous? It's like the prom queen of Canada!.
• Headline: ARTS CENTER: RALLY AND DOUBTS. Impact: The rally for the Long Island Performing Arts Center was a catalyst for countless debates over funding, eventually leading to the phrase 'arts funding' becoming synonymous with 'unpopular opinion.'. Fact: Did you know that supporting the arts is like trying to convince your dog to eat vegetables? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: A FLAT-SCREEN TELEVISION SET TO FIT IN YOUR BACK POCKET. Impact: The advent of pocket-sized flat-screen TVs paved the way for binge-watching on public transport, leading to a society that can no longer hold a conversation without a screen.. Fact: Did you know that watching TV on the go was just a fancy way to avoid human interaction? Thanks, Sony!.
• Headline: GARDENING; HARD-TO FIND PLANTS MERIT ATTENTION. Impact: The fascination with hard-to-find plants led to a black market of exotic flora, which eventually resulted in a reality show called 'Plant Hoarders: Green Thumb Edition.'. Fact: Did you know that if you can't find a rare plant, you can always just blame it on climate change? Works every time!.
• Headline: ROWERS IN A 'TRIPLE CROWN' BID. Impact: The 'Triple Crown' bid for rowers instilled a sense of competition that inspired future generations to take sports way too seriously, resulting in the rise of overly enthusiastic parents and coaches.. Fact: Did you know that rowing is one of the few sports where you can be both in shape and still look like you're confused about which way is forward?.