MAY 19, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: American Craft Museum Expands to Corporate HQ. Impact: The opening of this Craft Museum branch marked the beginning of a slippery slope where corporate entities decided they could be cultured by merely supporting art. Who knew that someday, we’d have corporations sponsoring art that ultimately leads to the creation of terrible modern art that looks like a toddler’s finger painting? Thanks, International Paper!. Fact: Did you know that corporate sponsorship of the arts can sometimes lead to the worst kind of art? Just wait until you see the 'Paper Mache Masters' exhibit..
• Headline: Exploring the Concept of Upscale Living. Impact: The introduction of the term 'upscale' led to an avalanche of pretentious marketing that permeated every aspect of consumer culture. Soon, people were paying triple for items just because they had the word 'artisan' slapped on them. Thanks to this headline, everything from bread to toilet paper became 'upscale.'. Fact: Fun fact: 'Upscale' is a term that actually means ‘I’m paying too much for this, but at least I can feel superior while doing it.’.
• Headline: Preserving Woolens with Cedar Closets. Impact: The rise of cedar closets led to the idea that homeowners could just barricade their woolens from moths instead of, you know, doing laundry. This ultimately led to a generation of people who thought they could solve all their problems with scented wood. Spoiler: it didn’t work out well for the wool industry.. Fact: Cedar is so effective at warding off moths that it's rumored to have been the secret ingredient in moth-proofing superhero capes. Don't ask how I know..
• Headline: SURVIVAL STRATEGIES FOR SLUMBER PARTIES. Impact: The rise of slumber parties and their accompanying 'survival strategies' led to the eventual development of reality TV shows that capitalize on the chaos of sleepover dynamics. Thanks to this, we now have shows dedicated to watching teenagers argue over pizza toppings.. Fact: Did you know that the original concept of a slumber party was to teach kids the fine art of sharing blankets? Now it’s just a competition for who can stay up the latest and share the most embarrassing secrets..