APRIL 4, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Underwater Realms Event. Impact: This underwater exploration led to the discovery of a secret underwater civilization, which, funny enough, decided to keep their existence a secret until 2050 when they realized 'surfing the internet' wasn't what they thought it meant.. Fact: Did you know that if you stare long enough into the water, it might just stare back? The ocean has some serious commitment issues..
• Headline: DRILLING IN PARKS FOR WATER DEBATED. Impact: The pushback against water drilling resulted in a long-standing feud between environmentalists and water companies that escalated into a dramatic showdown in 2025, where both sides met in a mud pit for a final showdown. Spoiler alert: nobody won.. Fact: Interestingly, drilling for water in parks sounds like a bad idea, but not as bad as drilling for oil in your backyard. Just ask the neighbors..
• Headline: Crafts; AN AMBITIOUS SPRING INVITATIONAL. Impact: The ambitious spring invitational inspired a flurry of 'not-so-ambitious' invitational shows, leading to the artistic trend of 'meh' exhibitions that ironically became the most popular art movement of the decade.. Fact: Did you know that art is subjective? So subjective that even a blank canvas can be interpreted as a profound statement about society... or just laziness..
• Headline: HITTING A NEW NOTE. Impact: Morton Gould's narrative debut inspired a new genre of musical storytelling, leading to Broadway's first fully narrated musical about the life of a potato, which was, surprisingly, a smash hit.. Fact: Fun fact: At 69, Morton Gould proved that age is just a number, but it’s also a reminder that you can still be fabulous and old at the same time..
• Headline: BOOKS FOR CHILDREN FACE YOUNG CRITICS. Impact: The young critics' reviews led to a publishing revolution, wherein children's books began to feature covers designed by actual children, causing a delightful chaos in the publishing industry that continues to this day.. Fact: Did you know that kids are the real critics in life? If they don’t like it, they’ll let you know with brutal honesty—just ask any parent..
• Headline: EXPLORING UNDERWATER REALMS. Impact: This underwater exploration led to the discovery of a secret underwater civilization, which, funny enough, decided to keep their existence a secret until 2050 when they realized 'surfing the internet' wasn't what they thought it meant.. Fact: Did you know that if you stare long enough into the water, it might just stare back? The ocean has some serious commitment issues..