FEBRUARY 15, 1982

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Women's Love Styles. Impact: The 800 million valentines have led to the accidental creation of over a million awkward first dates each year, where people discover they have nothing in common except their love for chocolate and Netflix.. Fact: Interestingly, Hallmark also owns a secret vault of rejected card ideas, including classics like 'I Love You... But Only on Weekends.'.
• Headline: Art Show with Pleasing Eccentricity. Impact: Art shows in banks inadvertently led to the rise of 'financial art', where people started painting their tax returns in hopes of making them more 'aesthetically pleasing'.. Fact: The Goodfriend Capital Corporation's art collection is rumored to include a piece made entirely of shredded loan documents. True modern art!.
• Headline: P.S.E.&G.; DECISION ASSAILED AND HAILED. Impact: The $390 million rate increase was such a shock that it caused a ripple effect, leading to the invention of the phrase 'utility bill anxiety'—a phenomenon that still plagues homeowners today.. Fact: If you ever feel like your utility bill is too high, just remember: at least you’re not paying for an art installation in your utility company’s lobby..
• Headline: Long Island Guide; KIBBUTZ ORCHESTRA. Impact: The Kibbutz Orchestra's performances inspired a series of musical collaborations that eventually led to the creation of the genre 'Kibbutz Jazz,' which only disappoints those hoping for traditional jazz.. Fact: Rumor has it that the orchestra’s secret weapon is a kazoo player who claims to channel the spirit of Beethoven..
• Headline: JOB OFFICES OFF HOOK. Impact: The reprieve for job offices sparked a future trend of people applying for jobs in pajama pants, as they realized that comfort is key when facing an uncertain job market.. Fact: The Department of Labor and Industry is now known for its innovative job fairs held entirely in virtual reality, where attendees can wear whatever they want!.
• Headline: HISTORY IS CANVAS OF LARCHMONT ARTIST. Impact: The paintings of George Washington inspired an entire generation of children to create their own art projects, leading to a rise in crayon portraits of historical figures that were, let's say, less than accurate.. Fact: It's said that Washington's likeness has appeared in more children's art than any other historical figure, mostly due to kids thinking he looks like their grandpa..
• Headline: TEEN-AGERS' ABORTIONS INCREASING ON L.I.. Impact: The increase in teen abortions led to a national conversation about sex education, which, in a twist of fate, resulted in the world's first 'How to Avoid Awkward Conversations' workshops.. Fact: In a stunning turn of events, many teens have since learned that the best way to avoid a tough discussion is to simply turn off their phones and pretend they can't hear..