MAY 31, 1981

Full News Archive

• Headline: Maternity Clothing Discounts at Danbury Outlet. Impact: The discount on maternity clothing sparked a nationwide surge in babies, leading to the eventual creation of a reality show called 'Maternity Madness.'. Fact: Because nothing says 'I'm ready for motherhood' quite like a pair of discounted stretch pants..
• Headline: Pre-Columbian Art Revealed. Impact: The fascination with pre-Columbian art inspired a cult of amateur archaeologists who think they can find ancient relics in their backyards—spoiler alert: they usually just find old soda cans.. Fact: Most people have no idea what 'Mesoamerica' means, but they sure love to nod knowingly at art galleries..
• Headline: HIGHER ARSON RATE REFLECTS THE TIMES. Impact: The spike in arson rates led to the invention of the 'Financial Literacy' classes, which unfortunately still can't teach people to manage their money when the heat is on.. Fact: Setting your car on fire to avoid payments is not a recommended financial strategy. Just saying..
• Headline: FISHING FLEET'S RENAISSANCE. Impact: The renaissance of the fishing fleet inspired a new wave of eco-friendly seafood restaurants, which ironically increased the hipster demand for non-existent fish.. Fact: If you think fishing is just about catching fish, you've clearly never seen a hipster try to explain their 'catch of the day' to a customer..
• Headline: YOUNG COMPOSERS START ON A HIGH NOTE. Impact: The emergence of young composers marked the dawn of modern music classes, where kids would later proudly proclaim they started playing the triangle in kindergarten.. Fact: If you think 50-year-old composers are old, just wait until you hear them talk about the 'good old days' of music before auto-tune..
• Headline: Antiques; THE LURE OF MATAWAN'S MAIN ST.. Impact: The charm of Matawan's Main St. ignited a trend in 'small-town tourism,' attracting urbanites looking for the perfect Instagram backdrop while sipping overpriced lattes.. Fact: Matawan is proof that you can have both scenic views and mediocre Wi-Fi—just in case you want to post that perfect sunset..
• Headline: The Careful Shopper; Capezio Has Leotards And Dance Footwear. Impact: Capezio's reopening fueled the resurgence of dance as a competitive sport, leading to more parents living vicariously through their children's pirouettes.. Fact: The only thing that outshines a child's dance recital is the number of parents filming it for social media—because memories are only real if they're posted online..