APRIL 12, 1981

Full News Archive

• Headline: Antiques on the Raritan River. Impact: The antique trade boomed as people realized they could sell dusty old items for a fortune. This led to the rise of reality TV shows about treasure hunting, culminating in a global obsession with 'vintage' everything, from furniture to fashion. If only they knew most of it was just grandma's junk.. Fact: Antiques are just old things we pretend are valuable because they were once owned by someone famous. Spoiler: it usually doesn't matter who that someone was..
• Headline: The Careful Shopper's Inventory Sale. Impact: The purple-and-orange-salmon color scheme inspired a series of questionable design choices across America, leading to the rise of homes painted in colors that would make even a peacock blush. Interior decorators everywhere started charging extra for 'tasteful' advice.. Fact: Canal Street Plastic Supply Company’s motto is a reminder that while you can’t pick your neighbors, you can definitely choose the tacky color of your house..
• Headline: Jersey City's Vision for Recovery. Impact: The decline of Jersey City spurred a mass exodus of hipsters to Brooklyn, inadvertently creating a new trend of 'urban renewal' that involved turning every abandoned warehouse into a trendy café. Gentrification: the gift that keeps on giving, until it doesn't.. Fact: Jersey City was once a thriving hub, now it’s just a cautionary tale for other cities. 'Don’t be like us,' they whisper..
• Headline: FROM A FOREST AND A STREAM. Impact: As 'third stream' music emerged, it sparked a bizarre cultural moment where every band felt the need to combine genres. This led to the creation of some truly awful music hybrids, like polka-rap and opera-metal. You're welcome, world.. Fact: Centerport's Lothlorien ensemble probably thought they were onto something revolutionary. Turns out, most people just wanted to hear a good ol' fashioned rock ballad..
• Headline: CONSOLIDATION A GROWING TREND IN FARMING. Impact: The backyard farming trend created a wave of suburbanites who thought they could grow their own food. Instead, they just ended up with a lot of tomatoes and a newfound appreciation for grocery stores. Thanks, Pinterest!. Fact: Every suburbanite's garden is 90% weeds and 10% overhyped dreams of self-sufficiency. Good luck with that kale, Karen..
• Headline: FARM BUREAU SEEKS 'RIGHT-TO-FARM' BILL. Impact: The 'Right-to-Farm' bill sparked a debate that only intensified the urban-rural divide. Soon, every city dweller became an armchair farmer, giving unsolicited advice to their rural counterparts about how to best raise livestock. Spoiler: nobody asked.. Fact: Helicopters and orchards go together like oil and water. Who knew saving crops could also involve creating a new neighborhood aviation problem?.
• Headline: INVESTING; THE REAL MONEY IN PAPER MONEY. Impact: Investing in paper money led to a bizarre underground market where people traded bills like Pokémon cards. This trend eventually gave rise to the collectible currency craze, where people started hoarding dollar bills like they were rare artifacts.. Fact: Investors obsessed with currency are just modern-day treasure hunters, but instead of gold, they're after crumpled bits of paper. Talk about inflation of ego!.
• Headline: SAUSAGE FOR ALL TASTES. Impact: The fascination with sausages set off a culinary revolution where chefs began experimenting with increasingly bizarre ingredients. This ultimately led to the creation of the infamous 'unicorn hot dog' that no one asked for but everyone regretted.. Fact: Sausages are really just a delicious excuse to use up leftovers. So, next time you eat one, remember: it’s 50% mystery meat and 100% culinary creativity!.
• Headline: A DANCER'S RISE FROM FLOOR TO STAGE. Impact: The rise of the Paul Taylor Dance Company helped kickstart a dance craze that left many aspiring dancers convinced they could make a career out of pirouetting in their living rooms. Spoiler: most just ended up with a lot of broken furniture.. Fact: Joining the ranks of famous dancers is a dream for many, but let's be real: most of us are just trying not to trip over our own feet..
• Headline: TENNIS PLAYER, 86, IN UNCROWDED FIELD. Impact: Ralph Strong's participation in tennis at 86 inspired a new fitness movement where aging athletes started to gain cult followings. This resulted in a bizarre trend of 'senior sports stars,' paving the way for people to get into sports at any age – or just sit on the couch and watch.. Fact: Tennis at 86 is impressive, but let’s be honest: most of us would just like to stay upright while trying to put on our shoes..