FEBRUARY 2, 1981

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Tiffany's Artistic Legacy. Impact: Tiffany's creations sparked a revolution in overpriced home decor, leading to a world where people would spend a month’s rent on a lamp. Thanks, Louis, for making my living room feel like a museum exhibit!. Fact: Louis Comfort Tiffany was so ahead of his time that if he were alive today, he'd probably be designing the next iPhone—just with more stained glass..
• Headline: Brookhaven's Battle Against Commercialization. Impact: This backlash against commercialization paved the way for hipster havens filled with artisanal avocado toast shops. Thanks, Brookhaven, for starting the trend of overpriced everything!. Fact: Commercialization is just a fancy word for 'we can’t have nice things without someone profiting off them.' Welcome to capitalism!.
• Headline: GROUP HELPS STATE KEEP EMPLOYERS AND GET NEW ONES. Impact: This employment push inadvertently led to the creation of motivational posters in the 90s, reminding us all to 'Hang in there!' while we were stuck in soul-sucking jobs. Thanks for that, Barry.. Fact: The phrase '11th hour' comes from the Bible, but it’s also how I feel every time I wake up late for an important meeting..
• Headline: EASTPORT ASKS TO JOIN SOUTHAMPTON TOWN. Impact: This secession request opened the floodgates for towns everywhere to argue over which side of the street they belonged on. It’s basically the early 21st-century equivalent of picking sides in a schoolyard.. Fact: Cities have been merging and splitting since the dawn of time, but nothing says 'community' like a good old-fashioned turf war over zip codes..
• Headline: Art; AN UNREALIZED AIM IN A LOOK AT GIANTS. Impact: The exploration of Abstract Expressionism led to a cultural wave where people began to interpret splatters on canvas as 'deeply personal.' Soon, every messy child’s drawing was hailed as the next masterpiece.. Fact: Abstract Expressionism is just a fancy term for 'I can’t draw, but I’ll throw paint at the canvas and call it art.'.
• Headline: Antiques; OLD MILL IN SUSSEX TAKES ON NEW ROLE. Impact: This old mill’s transformation into an antique shop fueled a nationwide obsession with 'vintage' that led to overpriced thrift stores and hipsters fighting over who found the best 'retro' item first.. Fact: Antiques are just old stuff that someone decided was worth more than the price of a new couch. Good luck explaining that to your bank account!.
• Headline: Dining Out; AN EXTRAVAGANCE OF INDIAN CUISINE.